"Kids—You Can't Beat 'em."

“Kids-You can’t beat ‘em”, was one of the first logos in 1983, when President Reagan proclaimed April to be the first National Child Abuse Prevention Month. I love the dual meaning of this statement. We can’t be physically aggressive with kids. But equally as important, is the message that there is special value in children. Thirty years later, we continue to promote the value of our children and their families, as well as the fact that every member of the community has a responsibility to help prevent child abuse and neglect.

If you would like information on how to get involved in promoting the value of children and families, give us a call on the Family Support Line, at 877-695-7996 or via email at stacy@FamiliesFirstColorado.org.
Preventing child abuse and neglect can sound like an overwhelming task, but it really comes down to some basic things that we all can do to help strengthen families. Research shows that there are five protective factors that help strengthen families. These factors act like buffers to stress and increase the health and well-being of children and families.

The Protective Factors are:

Concrete Supports for Parents
Social Connections and Emotional Competence
Parental Resilience
Knowledge of Parenting and of Child/Youth Development
Nurturing and Attachment

Denver Human Services did a great campaign this year for April’s Child Abuse Prevention Month that makes it easy to remember the protective factors. It is entitled 5 Ways to Keep Families Stable, Help Kids Thrive and Uphold a Strong Community:

1.) Call for Help!
2.) Surround Yourselves with Friends and Family
3.) Be a Bounce Back Family
4.) Become a Parenting Ace
5.) Help Children Express Themselves

Concrete Supports for Parents, also known as supports for basic needs, is the first protective factor that needs to be addressed. Families need to have their basic needs meet before they can focus on the other factors that will strengthen them. Find these concrete supports for your own family and help other families locate them as well. You can locate these supports within your community in a variety of ways, including local non-profits (such as the Family Support Line at Families First), faith based communities and social service agencies. These groups and agencies will partner with parents to help identify and access resources in the community such as food, clothing, housing, quality childcare, health and dental care, social-emotional services, and variety of other resources.

Another factor is Social Connections and Emotional Competence. This boils down to surrounding yourself and your children with friends and family. It is very important for both adults and children to have Social Connections. When adults have social connections they are modeling for the children around them how to interact with others and their world. The same is true for emotional competence, when we as grown-ups work on our own emotional health; we are modeling emotional wellness for our children. If you do not have supportive friends and family, consider neighbors, spiritual groups, the local child/parent play group, or your child’s school. There are a variety of places to find connections for yourself and your child. If you or another adult you know does not have a support system, consider joining a Parent Support Group. Families First offers Circle of Parents ® Support groups and can also connect you with other support groups across the state.

Parental Resilience is the ability to cope with stresses, both the day-to-day stresses, as well as the occasional crisis. This is sometimes described as being a “bounce back” person or family. Are you able to bounce back when things get tough? The other two Protective Factors we had mentioned, Concrete Support and Social Connections, can both help to increase a person’s resilience. Having someone that can help you talk through a stress increases the chance a person will bounce back from the stress.

The protective factor, Knowledge of Parenting & Child Development is becoming informed as a parent about ways to communicate with your child, set rules and expectations, and provide safe opportunities that promote independence. These things need to be done while taking the child’s current development into consideration. Healthy child development and effective parenting are connected. If you would like to learn more about effective parenting or child development consider attending a parenting class or support group.

The final protective factor is Nurturing and Attachment, last, but not least by any means! In fact, most times this is the first factor listed due to the importance of nurturing and attachment. A child’s early experience of being loved and cared for by a safe, reliable adult has an effect on all aspects of their life. It will determine how they treat others and how they allow others to treat them as they grow into adulthood. Nurturing and attachment are crucial not just when a child is young, but throughout their lives. This can set the stage for the other factors to develop.
These five factors are not only good for the parent-child relationship, but they help to decrease stress on an individual level, as well as a community level. If individuals are less stressed, then their relationships will be less stressed, which will produce a less stressed community as a whole. Pick one factor and work on fine-tuning it to increase your protection against stress. Don’t know where to find the resources, social supports, parenting classes? Need someone to listen when you are stressed or a place to Brainstorm ideas? Call Families First at 877-695-7996 or email us at stacy@FamiliesFirstColorado.org. We would love to help you tackle a protective factor!

We also have a Spanish Family Support Line at 866-527-3264 or maria@FamiliesFirstColroado.org. Check us out on Facebook at Families First Colorado. The Family Support Line offers parenting tips, resources and information only and does not serve as legal or mental health advice. We believe you are the paramount person to decide what is best for your family. Comments provided by non-Families First individuals are not the opinion of Families First.

Saving the Parent-Teen Relationship

I have recently been talking to one of my close friends regarding parenting struggles he is having with his teenagers. The topic of protecting the parent-teen relationship in the context of setting boundaries and consequences has come up several times. I began to think about how to negotiate the boundaries and consequences all families must have to function effectively, within the parent-teen relationship.

In my friend’s case, he is concerned if he is too strict or pushes too hard he will damage the relationship. However, he has also acknowledged there is a good chance his sons are aware of his fear and use this to their advantage. On the other hand, my friend understands if he is passive he may give the boys the impression that their behaviors are acceptable or that he does not care about the behaviors or them. What is a parent to do?

First, like my friend, acknowledge your own stuff. If you have fears regarding the relationship, what are they? If you are having other strong emotional reactions, why are these arising? Is something reminding you of the way you were parented? Once you take a look at how you are initiating or responding and you label those things, it becomes easier to notice them and begin to address them when they arise within the context of the relationship. If you are really brave and want even more bang for your buck, share your discoveries with others. Consider talking about these things with a friend, your spouse, or even with your teenager. When others see us modeling good communication and self-disclosure, it becomes easier for them to do the same.

Try to get on the same page with the other parent. In a large majority of families the parents tend to be on opposite ends of the parenting spectrum. One will tend towards being very strict and the other will be more passive or lenient. To further complicate things, when the strict one is overly strict, the more passive parent feels bad for the kids and becomes even more lenient. The strict parent sees the passive parent as being “too easy” on the kids, so they up the strict factor. This can be a vicious cycle that is confusing for the kids. The goal is for both parents to come more to the middle of the spectrum, with more consistent behavior between the two parenting styles. This has several benefits; it helps the relationship between the two parents and decreases the possibility the kids can divide and conquer.

Educate yourself on what is developmentally appropriate. For pre-teens and teens it is normal for them to try to stretch their wings. They are going to try new things, consider new ideas and challenge what the adults in their lives believe. This is an important stage that teens go through as they are beginning to develop into their own person. It says a great deal about the strength of the parent-teen relationship when the teen is willing to practice testing limits and comfort levels in the safety of their home and as part of their relationships with their parents. Allow them some space to figure out who they are, what they believe, and who they want to become and then be there to provide a soft, safe place to fall, which undoubtedly will happen.

Really consider the reason behind a rule/boundary. By the time a typically developing child is in their teens the rules/boundaries for them should be few and far between- just those that ensure safety and adherence to the law. It is our goal as the adults in their lives to help them to begin to self-monitor and self-enforce more and more with each year of life. Love and Logic ® puts it well: we are to become more of a consultant to the child the older they become. It is our job to help them begin to make good decisions on their own. After all, we are not going to be there to direct them forever.

There is a huge shift that occurs in most parent-teen relationships when the parents stop directing and come along side as a consultant. Love and Logic ® tells us that consultant-style parenting looks like the following:
1.) Remember consultants don’t force their ideas on the other person. Ask permission to share some ideas or to help your teen brainstorm some ideas.
2.) If your teen declines then let them know they are welcome to come ask for some suggestions if they change their minds.
3.) If they accept your offer, help them to generate a list of options (feel free to add some they may not think of).
4.) Prompt the teen to think about how each option would work by saying something like, “How do you think that will work?” or “How will that likely turn out?”
5.) Allow the teen to try one or more option. Follow-up by asking them how it worked out for them. If it did not work, encourage them to pick another option from the list the two of you generated.
6.) If needed, offer additional suggestions, but remember to honor the fact the teen may decline your assistance.

Allow your teen to feel the consequences for their choices. All too often, we as adults rush to rescue our children from their own choices. It is important that we allow them to learn from their choices. When at all possible, allow natural consequences do the teaching. If there is not a safe natural consequence, use a logical consequence. Be there to support and love them during and after the consequences, but don’t bail them out. Avoid saying or implying that you “told them so.”

One final suggestion: be willing to “lose.” Teens are very good at trying out their newly acquired debating skills. They also are bent on proving they are correct and the adults are wrong. This is a typical stage that most teens go through. My friend recently began taking a class to address parent-child relationships. He said the whole class basically boils down to this: “Sometimes you have to lose to the child to save the relationship.” Please don’t take this as being passive or giving in to the child. Sometimes we have to be willing to admit we are wrong or that there might be a different way to consider/do things. Take advantage of the fact that your teen is younger, is not yet set in their ways and sees the world in a different way than you do.

Most importantly, have fun with those teens. Before you know it they will be adults and no longer under your roof. Challenging as it may be, enjoy this time with them! It is one of the toughest, most important and rewarding jobs you will ever do.

For more suggestions on ways to improve your relationship with your teens, additional ways to support your family and for other great parenting tips call the Family Support Line at 1-877-695-7996 OR 1-866-Las-Familias (866-527-3264) for Spanish speakers. You can also e-mail stacy@FamiliesFirstColorado.org with questions or concerns. Check us out on Facebook at Families First Colorado. The Family Support Line offers parenting tips, resources and information only and does not serve as legal or mental health advice. We believe you are the paramount person to decide what is best for your family. Comments provided by non-Families First individuals are not the opinion of Families First.

Mother’s Day (By Stacy Hladek)

Mother’s Day is May 12^th, that is a week from this Sunday.  There are likely to be lots of articles to suggest ways to honor your mom or help your children honor their mom.  I would like to take a different approach and speak to moms directly.  Give yourself permission to pat yourself on the back and to take a break.  Parenting is both the toughest and most rewarding job in the world.  This is a good time to remind moms (fathers too) that you have to fill your own bucket before you can fill up others.  Remember the example given on airplanes, you must put your own oxygen mask on before you help others.  If you do not, you are going to pass out and not be helpful to anyone.  In fact, you could hinder someone else as they try to care for you.  Please don’t “pass out” figuratively. 

The emotional temperature in a home is usually set by mom.  “If momma, ain’t happy, ain’t no one happy!”  Often times this phrase is taken to mean mom is in charge and things will go her way or there will be issues for the whole house.  However, I would like to suggest that what it really means, or should mean, is that mom is the barometer in the home.  Research shows that children learn about emotions and how to express them by reflecting how their primary caregiver handles emotions.  Just think about the last time you were tired, isn’t that just the time your toddler decides to throw a huge fit or your teenager was moody for no apparent reason?  It is time for you to take care of you so that you are able to take the best care of the rest of the family. 

Again, I already said pat yourself on the back and give yourself permission to take a break, but it is worth repeating .  Often times, moms have a hard time doing this for themselves.  Treat yourself the way you would your best friend.  Tell your “best friend” to take a break or not to be so hard on herself.  This is also a great way to model self-care for your children. 

I can hear the collective, “yes, but”, now.  Yes, but I don’t have childcare or I don’t have the money.  Try swapping childcare with another mom.  “I will take your kids this Monday, if you will take mine next Monday.”  Just establish the rule that this is for down time, not to go do your spring cleaning or run errands.  Use the extended family.  Aunts, uncles, grandparents, and god parents, are great mentors for our kids and are often more than willing to keep the kids for an hour or two.  Take a nap or hot bath while the kids are napping.  Make an arrangement with your partner for one night a week to be their night to care for the kids or one weekend day a month for you to get to sleep in while the rest of the family goes to get donuts.  Check with your local churches and community centers, they often have a mother’s day out program that is free or very low cost. 

Figure out what your favorite way to re-charge is and then work on a plan to make that happen at least once a month.  In doing so, you will be and even better mom.  Healthy, happy moms tend to raise healthy, happy children.  Happy Mother’s Day and thank you for all the little things you do each day to raise our future!

For more suggestions on how to take good care of yourself, emotional competency in children, additional ways to support your family and for other great parenting tips call the Family Support Line at 1-800-CHILDREN (800-244-5373) OR 1-866-Las-Familias (866-527-3264) for Spanish speakers. You can also e-mail stacy@familiesfirstcolorado.org with questions or concerns. The Family Support Line offers parenting tips, resources and information only and does not serve as legal or mental health advice. We believe you are the paramount person to decide what is best for your family. Comments provided by non-Families First individuals are not the opinion of Families First.

How to Handle Biting in Young Children

I recently spent an afternoon with a good friend, who has a toddler.  While we were talking about parenting she told me her son has started biting his baby brother.  My friend said nothing she or her husband had tried is working.  Her son bit another child at childcare this week for the first time

Biting is a behavior that many toddlers display at one time or another.  It can be something that makes the adults feel frustrated and helpless.  There is hope! 

Whenever a child is having a behavioral issue adults should start by increasing positive interactions with the child, such as catching them being good, increasing affection, and increased praise.  Often times this will be all that is needed to decrease the negative behaviors.

If the biting continues to be an issue the next step is to try to prevent the biting.  Give the child a teething toy that can be used to bite on when needed.  Also increase adult supervision when the child is around other children.  Do not keep the child from interacting with other children, but make sure the adult is close and can help with the interactions.

What to do when a child does bite someone else:

1.)    The child who was hurt gets the attention.  Make a big deal about their owwie, hug them, give them an ice pack, or wash the hurt body part.  The child that was aggressive should be kept in eye sight so that he is not going off and hurting another child, family pet, or himself.

2.)    Once the above is completed, the adult should take the child who was aggressive gently but firmly by the hand and remove him from the situation.  One brief statement such as “teeth are not for biting” and then no other words or attention should be given to the child.  The adult should use a firm voice, but not yell or raise their voice.

3.)    The child should be away from everyone else for a minute or two, but in eye sight of an adult. 

4.)    Once he is calm, the adult will give him a hug or pat. 

5.)    As soon as the child who was hurt is ready and the child who was aggressive is being safe, and adult should help the two make-up. 

For more ideas on aggressive behaviors in children of all ages, ways to support your family, and other parenting tips call the Family Support Line at 1-800-CHILDREN (800-244-5373) OR 1-866-Las-Familias (866-527-3264) for Spanish speakers. You can also e-mail stacy@FamiliesFirstColorado.org with questions or concerns. The Family Support Line offers parenting tips, resources and information only and does not serve as legal or mental health advice. We believe the adult(s) raising the child is the expert on that child and knows what is best for their family. Comments provided by non-Families First individuals are not the opinion of Families First.

One Big Happy Family.

One Big Happy Family:

How do we achieve happiness as a family, especially when you consider varying personalities, interests and communication styles? Not to mention different genders and ages, two-adult homes and one-adult homes? I recently read an article based on a book by Bruce Feiler on this very topic. He introduces some interesting facts and concepts I think worthy of sharing. In our incredibly fast paced lives, full of stress and worry how do we find peace at home?

I think most people have heard how beneficial sharing family dinner together  can be. But an alternative to that can be other meals and snacks, such as breakfast or evening when everyone is more likely to be home. It can be difficult to get children’s attention and have meaningful conversation and a car ride can be a quiet and uninterrupted time to do so. Turn off the radio and electronics and use this time for some one-on-one time.  Surveys show that children want their parents to be less stressed and tired, even more than spending time together. Having a conversation about life’s expectations, stresses, self-care and how to cope can be very valuable for children. Another suggestion for effective conversation is to arrange your living area in a circle. People feel more connected and can take in verbal and body language best from this distance range and formation.  Plan a family meeting or discuss current conflict in this setting.

The most common time of day for conflict is dinner time. To avoid or minimize conflict, set expectations in terms of what time dinner is and who is responsible for what chores in meal preparation and clean-up. Set rules for what can and cannot be discussed at family meal time. Any sensitive or emotionally charged topics can be planned for another time outside of meal time. It is recommended that children be involved in choosing and planning their own consequences inside choices that parents set. A child is more invested when they have some control and responsibility in discipline. An interesting bit of research suggests that when there is difficult parent-child discussions it is often helpful to have more than one female involved. The article states reason being, that females are typically more sensitive to everyone’s input, more capable of reaching compromise and more efficient.

The good news is that research shows most families ARE happy! 75% say that family is the most important thing to them and 85% say that the family they have today is as close as or closer than the family they grew up in! Which areas can you improve for your family to achieve greater happiness?

 For more suggestions on improving happiness in your family, additional ways to support your family and for other great parenting tips call the Family Support Line at 1-800-CHILDREN (800-244-5373) OR 1-866-Las-Familias (866-527-3264) for Spanish speakers. You can also e-mail Sarah@FamiliesFirstColorado.org with questions or concerns. The Family Support Line offers parenting tips, resources and information only and does not serve as legal or mental health advice. We believe you are the paramount person to decide what is best for your family. Comments provided by non-Families First individuals are not the opinion of Families First.

We will never have all the answers...

Talking to your kids about violence, trauma and loss:
 Many, many people have and will be affected from this horrific morning in Conneticut where our most precious, our most innocent have been slain. No words are entirely adequate, however here are a few tips to support parents and caregivers during these extremely difficult times.
     All people experience trauma and hearing about trauma differently. Here some suggestions for talking to your kids about what they hear on the news and from friends and how to address common fears and concerns: “The American Humane Association offers these tips for parents and other caregivers to help children cope with the fear and uncertainty caused by the Connecticut school shootings: 
* Keep an eye on children’s emotional reactions. Talk to children – and just as important – listen to them. Encourage kids to express how they feel and ask if anything is worrying them.
* Regardless of age, reassure them frequently of their safety and security, and reinforce that you, local officials, and their communities are working to keep them safe. Older children may seem more capable, but can also be affected.
* Keep your descriptions to children simple and limit their exposure to graphic information. Keep to the basic facts that something bad happened but that they are safe. Use words they can understand and avoid technical details and terms such as “smoke grenades” and “sniper.”
 * Limit their access to television and radio news reports since young children may have trouble processing the enormity of the experience, and sometimes believe that each news report may be a new attack. * Be prepared for children to ask if such violence can occur to them. Do not lie but repeat that it is very unlikely and that you are there to keep them safe.
* Watch for symptoms of stress, including clinginess, stomachaches, headaches, nightmares, trouble eating or sleeping, or changes in behavior.
* If you are concerned about the way your children are responding, consult your doctor, school counselor or local mental health professional.”
For more ideas on talking to your children about violence, tragedy and loss and for  more ways to support your family and for other parenting tips call the Family Support Line at 1-800-CHILDREN (800-244-5373) OR 1-866-Las-Familias (866-527-3264) for Spanish speakers. You can also e-mail Sarah@FamiliesFirstColorado.org with questions or concerns. The Family Support Line offers parenting tips, resources and information only and does not serve as legal or mental health advice. We believe you are the paramount person to decide what is best for your family. Comments provided by non-Families First individuals are not the opinion of Families First.

An Attitude of Gratitude.

With many families still struggling and even those who are not, this is an appropriate time of year to teach an attitude of gratitude.  It may be easy for kids to focus on what they don’t have or won’t get, especially compared to those of their peers. Regardless of a families’ financial situation it is helpful  to use the holidays as a time to teach family values. Any gift, whether big or small, can come from the heart keeping the recipient in mind. So what values are important to you and your family?

The holidays are considered by many to be a time of excess. Teaching anything in moderation, to include gift giving, is a valuable lesson for all. This is a lesson in quality versus quantity and with the idea of thoughtful and mindfulness at heart. For families in financial struggle this may be a time to teach humility and the idea of thankfulness for what is as opposed to what isn’t. It can be an attitude of gratitude that there IS something in the glass at all, and whether it is half-empty or half-full is irrelevant. For any family, it is important to teach and model attitudes of acceptance and non-judgment towards others. Just because a family may be currently struggling does not mean they are lazy, ungrateful, or dependent. We do not know anyone’s circumstances based on what we see from the outside.  And lastly, an attitude of genuine kindness can go a long way this season, being kind to yourself as well as to others!

For more great ideas on talking to your about the holidays, stress, giving,  more ways to support your family and for other great parenting tips call the Family Support Line at 1-800-CHILDREN (800-244-5373) OR 1-866-Las-Familias (866-527-3264) for Spanish speakers. You can also e-mail Sarah@FamiliesFirstColorado.org with questions or concerns. The Family Support Line offers parenting tips, resources and information only and does not serve as legal or mental health advice. We believe you are the paramount person to decide what is best for your family. Comments provided by non-Families First individuals are not the opinion of Families First.

Choices.

With the recent Presidential elections I’m thinking a lot about the power of choice, our actions and consequences of those actions. As parents we are the ones able to vote in government elections, but how do our kids get a vote or have a say? And how do we prepare the future generation of voters to consider their responsibilities as citizens, to appropriately voice their own thoughts and opinions and to consider the costs of those decisions?

                Meal time and car time are great opportunities for this type of family discussion. Many people recommend family meals occur at least 2-3 times per week and, remember, these can be at breakfast not just dinner! Car time is valuable as well when phones, music and DVD players are turned off. Give your kids the chance to ‘vote’ on current family topics. This might be a time to consider reallocating chores, meal or entertainment choices. Discuss how democracy works and other forms of government. Are your kids members of Congress and you are the President with the ultimate veto power? These discussions are great ways to find out what’s on kid’s minds and what they value and think passionately about. This also gives kids the chance to be heard and feel empowered knowing that their opinion holds some weight in the family.

                In addition, and on a broader scale, there are life lessons to be learned about having a voice. All choices, decisions and actions have consequences. Consequences may be positive or negative. We can only control what we do, we cannot control the outcome. By making better decisions and choices we weight in our favor the chances of positive outcomes. Teaching your kids they have choices, even the choice to do nothing, empowers them to have a vote in any situation they may be involved in. These lessons can improve self-respect, self-control, positive motivation and living by intention instead of by accident.  As always, role modeling how your own opinion is voiced and sharing some of the consequences you have experienced is one of the most valuable messages of all.

For more great ideas on talking to your kids about government, community, personal responsibility and more ways to support your family and for other great parenting tips call the Family Support Line at 1-800-CHILDREN (800-244-5373) OR 1-866-Las-Familias (866-527-3264) for Spanish speakers. You can also e-mail Sarah@FamiliesFirstColorado.org with questions or concerns. The Family Support Line offers parenting tips, resources and information only and does not serve as legal or mental health advice. We believe you are the paramount person to decide what is best for your family. Comments provided by non-Families First individuals are not the opinion of Families First.

School readiness; are you, the parent ready?

At this point in September most of our children are settled back in school. How about the parents? It is common for kids to experience varying anxieties as school nears. It may be the first day jitters, middle-school transition or new peer pressures in high school. It is also common for parents to experience worries of their own. Today’s parents are faced with a number of school issues regarding their children. Parents may be concerned about the child’s readiness to start school, their ability to socialize and manage their peers, the influence from technology and media, facing change or experiencing separation. Each of these can be overwhelming for children AND parents to deal with.

 It is important that at the same time you are talking to your child about coping with changes, that you address your own anxieties. A sound support system is one way to do this. Forming a team at your child’s school and getting to know not only the teachers, but staff such as; administration, school counselors, special education leaders and the principal can be most helpful during the early school years. Find other parents of similarly aged children and talk about fears and challenges. Reach out to your community such as religious groups, family and extended family and community service organizations.  Parent s may need as much support as our students to get off to a great start and to work toward a solid educational foundation. We are all part of team, which ones will you join?!

For more ways to support your family and for other great parenting tips call the Family Support Line at 1-800-CHILDREN (800-244-5373) OR 1-866-Las-Familias (866-527-3264) for Spanish speakers. You can also e-mail Sarah@FamiliesFirstColorado.org with questions or concerns. The Family Support Line offers parenting tips, resources and information only and does not serve as legal or mental health advice. We believe you are the paramount person to decide what is best for your family. Comments provided by non-Families First individuals are not the opinion of Families First.

Dads are Parents Too.

Dads are Parents Too.

In honor of Father’s Day and all fathers, I wanted to write a bit about their importance.

I recently learned a new term. It is called “father-void” homes. A father-void home is one where there is an identified father but he has no presence in the home or in the lives of his children. This is compared to “father-less” homes which in the past has meant “no father to be found.” In most cases, there are father’s, they just may not be present, involved or engaged. We have learned a lot about father-void homes and the typically negative impact it has on children.

The Center on Fathering created a list of “Benefits of Involved Fathering” (November, 2006). The research shows that children are much more successful academically and have a higher likelihood of going to college when a father is involved.  Involved dads have a positive correlation to reduced adolescent pregnancy. These children are less likely to engage in criminal activities or abuse drugs and alcohol. Father involvement is the strongest parent-related predictor in the development of empathy.  It is also strongly associated with the development of problem-solving behavior and reduced sibling conflict and aggression. Boys and girls tend to grow up more open-minded about what men and women are capable of doing and less likely to adhere to sex-stereotyped perceptions. Direct father involvement even effects premature infant development in terms of weight gain and quicker discharges. Children with two loving, involved parents benefit from the wealth of each parent’s life experiences!

Over the years I have seen the value of raising children in a 2 (or more!) adult home. The impact of a father’s love is powerful and lasts a lifetime. Father’s influence growth and development from very early on and help to form a child’s identity, relationship patterns, decision-making, role identification and to teach life lessons and experiences. I actively promote anything we can do as a society to engage Father’s, reduce isolation and increase support. It certainly takes a village…Happy Father’s Day!

For more ways to support dads and other great parenting tips call the Family Support Line 1-800-CHILDREN (800-244-5373) OR 1-866-Las-Familias for Spanish speakers. You can also e-mail Sarah@FamiliesFirstColorado.org with questions or concerns. The Family Support Line offers parenting tips, resources and information only and does not serve as legal or mental health advice.

Personal Economy

Our country continues to be in a strained economy. These past few years have been a humbling experience for me and my children. And while it has been a stressful time, many good things have come of it. We have found ways to do without, redefined our true needs and have a better understanding of what are our priorities. For example, in our family, we value time together now more than ever. And through difficult times we have grown closer and work much better as a team.

It is important, that at times like these, we continue to build that team. Now is a great time to learn about and understand our local resources. In uncertain and unfamiliar times it is also important to reach out for support. This support may go beyond your immediate family and may include extended family, friends and neighbors, church, mental health professionals, school, support groups, community resources and telephone help lines. It is beneficial to discover that other people have had or are having similar situations and to learn how others have learned to cope and adjust.

So many people have been faced with new challenges in these changing times and have been forced to find new ways to manage.  Some are faced with unemployment, foreclosure, moving away from family, changing schools, adjusting to a new lifestyle, or simply finding a new way of doing things. I heard an interesting term recently called a “personal economy”. This idea is founded on not only personal finances but focuses on assigning new and improved value to things and the people in our lives. It is reestablishing the economics in your household, both literally and figuratively. This is a great dinner time discussion to have with your family, consider some of the following; “What do we enjoy doing?”  “Is there another, less expensive way to enjoy that same thing” “Is there something new we would like to try” “What do we have time to do now that we didn’t have time to do before?”  “What do we actually need versus what do we ‘want’?” Come together as a team to define your personal economy and utilize your external supports and resources to do so. This creates familial strength and resiliency!

For other great tips about talking to your kids call… 1-800-CHILDREN(800-244-5373) or e-mail 
 Sarah@FamiliesFirstColorado.org . For support in Spanish please call 1-866-LAS FAMILIAS.  Both Family Support Lines offer parenting tips, community resources and information only and does not serve as legal or mental health advice.

Compassionate Parenting.

Why strive to be a compassionate parent? Most parents would agree it is important to be loving and nurturing toward our children. Compassion means to have sympathy for the suffering of others and may also mean to have a desire to help. This fits perfectly with parenting.  A compassionate parent has sympathy for a child’s challenges with a desire to help the child overcome his or her struggles. Along with compassion it’s important to show empathy. Tell your child that you understand what they are feeling, give an example of a time you felt the same way and explain how you overcame that situation. Help your child explore his or her options and find solutions. Children feel empowered when they can contribute to and control their choices.

The benefit of compassionate parenting is to role model healthy and kind behavior, to strengthen communication and to continue to further bond with your child. A child can’t know compassion if they aren’t shown compassion. The character of compassion is a powerful one, as it allows you to learn to care for others, but also to learn to have compassion for yourself.

We look forward to connecting with you and serving many more Colorado families! If you have a parenting question or concern, e-mail or call us NOW @ Sarah@FamiliesFirstColorado.org or 1-800-CHILDREN(800-244-5373). The Family Support Line offers parenting tips, resources and information only and does not serve as legal or mental health advice.

Introducing Families First Blog. A blog for strong families!

We at Families First are excited to announce the first posting of our new blog, “Families First. A blog for strong families.”   This blog is an online article written particularly for parents and caregivers. You can look forward to lots of great tips, problems you can relate to and solutions you can use and funny stories to help keep your sense of humor! For those that don’t know, we also have a Family Support Line which is a toll-free, Colorado statewide line, available 7 days a week. Simply call 1-800-CHILDREN (800-244-5373). For our Spanish speakers please dial 1-866-527-3264.  In addition to providing a safe place to call and share your questions or concerns, we offer wonderful community resources, parenting classes and Circle of Parent’s® peer support groups. In the near future, watch for blog topics such as compassion toward your child, information on typical youth and parental development, parental courage, community participation and family health and well-being.

We look forward to connecting with you and serving many more Colorado families! If you have a parenting question or concern, e-mail or call us NOW @ Sarah@FamiliesFirstColorado.org or 1-800-CHILDREN(800-244-5373). The Family Support Line offers parenting tips, resources and information only and does not serve as legal or mental health advice.