The topics and suggestions in my Families First Circle of Parents® group have helped me significantly in becoming a better person and in learning how to treat my daughter in our daily exchanges. I'm in a Spanish speaking group at Families First. I am learning how to educate my daughters each day. Since I have attended the Tuesday night parent group, my life with my family is more beautiful because there is more communication between me and my daughters. I have two daughters aged 14 and 10 years. It is not easy being a parent, but thanks to this group, I am learning new tools on how to be a better mother and about dealing effectively with them at their respective ages. We also learn much more when sharing our parenting experiences of other group members. I came to this group experiencing problems with my daughter’s behavior and have gradually begun to find solutions that have helped modify her behavior in very positive ways.
– Circulo de Padres® group participant


For more information about Families First's Circle of Parents® program please visit our website.

For parenting tips, parenting resources, or support call the Families First Support Line at
877-695-7996 OR 866-527-3264 for Spanish-speaking parents. You can also e-mail SupportLine@FamiliesFirstColorado.org with questions or concerns. Comments provided by non-Families First individuals are not the opinion of Families First.

Sadi's Story

Sadi was an introverted child who struggled in group settings and would often isolate herself, running away from the Families First Children’s Group and escaping the room altogether. She seemed to prefer sitting alone on a couch situated outside the room and she refused to participate in any activity, instead turning to her own game or toy. Sadi would often act out and yell, sometimes using profanity that made those around her most uncomfortable. She also resorted to striking other children. Families First team members spent many hours working with Sadi. Lately, she has been calmer, choosing to use her “indoor voice” and to participate in activities chosen by the group. She now seems to understand that even though the group may choose to do something she doesn’t want to do, everyone can all still have fun doing things together. To date, Sadi has participated in making Rice Krispies treats and has learned the names of all the children in her group. When she doesn’t know their name, she does not hesitate to ask them. She is also learning the names of all the group leaders and addresses them by name. Sadi is an engaged and happy child!

The provision of the Children’s Group is one of the most important components of the Family Support Services Program. Without the availability of this program (in the form of a Children’s Group), many parents would not be able to attend Circle of Parents® support group meetings or Parent Education classes provided by Families First. By working with the children while the parents are also receiving education and support, parent support groups and classes become a more positive experience for the whole family. The Children’s Group is more than maintenance level babysitting. It is assessing the needs of the children then developing and implementing activities to meet those needs. These activities are flexible and involve much individualized attention on the part of the Children’s Group Leader. The Children’s Group also provides a wide array of activities that promote positive social emotional development, community building, and a system of support.

Circle of Parents® national support group model offers free meetings for anyone in a parenting role.
· Parents lead the groups with the help of a trained facilitator.
· Parents decide the topics, lead the discussion and are involved in the decision making.

Circle of Parents® encourages the development of parents’ leadership skills—not just as parents and group leaders, but in all aspects of their lives.


For more information on Families First programs and services, parenting tips, and information on local resources please scroll down or click through our blog archive to the left to see our previous posts, visit our website at www.familiesfirstcolorado.org or call us at 877-695-7996.

Janey's Story

Three year old Janey was a child caught between two parents who seemed unable to agree on the best approach to disciplining her. Not only did the disagreements cause trouble in the relationship between young Janey and her parents, but mounting resentments in daily exchanges between Janey’s mother and father were inevitable and painful. Parents as Teachers Home Visitation Parent Educator, worked patiently with the parents, sharing with them the latest research indicating that physical forms of discipline are not always effective, and in some cases psychologically damaging to children. She shared several disciplinary techniques that have been proven to be more effective than physical punishment. At first, Janey’s father opposed what he saw as “being soft” on his child. But a breakthrough came one day when Janey’s father had a dramatic change of heart: he was reconsidering the use of spanking because he saw his little girl playing with her dolls and mimicking the use of spanking to “discipline” the dolls. Witnessing this behavior in his small daughter saddened and shamed him, impacting him greatly. Janey’s father also realized that, in the final analysis, alternative forms of discipline shared by the PAT Parent Educator of Families First were more effective than those he had chosen.

Parents as Teachers (PAT) is a national affiliate certified, voluntary home visitation
program that works with families with children prenatal through kindergarten.

Referrals can be made prenatal to four years old. The program is designed to keep children in the program for 2+ years. They graduate upon completing kindergarten. Services are available in English and Spanish. PAT serves seven metro counties (Adams, some Arapahoe, Boulder, Broomfield, Denver, Douglas and Jefferson - many other counties in the state have their own PAT programs).

PAT home visits address:
Parent-child interactions
Perform family well-being checks
Domestic violence screenings
Protective factor screenings
Developmental screenings:hearing, vision, and general health; parent/child interaction; gross motor skills; fine motor skills; social skills & development; emotional skills & development


For more information on Families First programs and services, parenting tips, and information on local resources please scroll down or click through our blog archive on the upper, right side of the screen to see our previous posts, visit our website at www.familiesfirstcolorado.org or call us at 877-695-7996.

Inspiring Resilience, Creating Hope

May is National Mental Health Awareness month. We have come a long way as a nation over the last couple of decades in how we view mental health issues, however, we still need to continue to improve the way people with a mental illness are viewed and treated.

Mental health is simply our emotional, mental, and spiritual health. It is just as important as our physical health. In fact, the two go hand-in-hand. It is important for us to realize that people of all ages, race, ethnicity, religion, and incomes are diagnosed with mental health concerns. Nearly every person in America has either had mental health issues at one time in their life or has a close friend or family member who has had mental health issues at some point. The stigma around mental health needs to be broken. Mental health issues should be viewed no differently than physical health issues.

This year’s theme for Mental Health Awareness month is Inspiring Resilience, Creating Hope. There is a great deal of research that has been done in recent years that is showing that resiliency acts as a buffer in all areas of a person’s life, including mental and emotional health. The good news is that resilience is something we are all born with and can be strengthened.

Last month’s blog spoke briefly about parental resilience as one of the protective factors that decreases abuse and neglect and promotes health family relationships. We defined it as the ability to cope with stresses, both the day-to-day stresses, as well as the occasional crisis. This is sometimes described as being a “bounce back” person or family. The same definition applies for resilience in children of all ages.

So, why is being resilient so important? The more resilient a person is the better day-to-day health they have in all areas of their life. Seventy percent of all people will experience at least one trauma in their lifetime. Resiliency helps people deal with the bumps of life, as well as the bigger stressors. It is a good idea to build resiliency before it is needed for a crisis.

There are a number of fairly simple things that adults can do to help promote resilience in children. The number one thing is relationships. Researchers agree that the primary building block for resilience is caring, supportive relationships. Adults can do this by responding to their children’s physical and emotional needs in a timely manner with patience. Another easy way to build relationships is to have fun together. Schedule time every day to get down on the floor or go outside and play with your child.

Adults can also help promote resilience in children by listening and responding to their child in a reflective manner. When your child is talking to you give them your full attention and then make sure to state back to them what you heard them say and any emotions you believe they are experiencing. Then allow your child to confirm or clarify that you got what they were saying and feeling. We all need to be heard and have our feelings supported.

As always, adults can use modeling. It is important for us to model the skills that lead to resilience for our children. We need to make sure our children see us engaging in supportive relationships, having fun, and sharing our thoughts and feelings. These are just a few suggestions for building resilience that you can start working on today for yourself, with your children and in your family, which will lead to improved mental and emotional health.

For more suggestions on ways resilience, additional ways to support your family and for other great parenting tips call the Family Support Line at 1-877-695-7996 OR 1-866-Las-Familias (866-527-3264) for Spanish speakers. You can also e-mail stacy@FamiliesFirstColorado.org with questions or concerns. Check us out on Facebook at Families First Colorado. The Family Support Line offers parenting tips, resources and information only and does not serve as legal or mental health advice. We believe you are the paramount person to decide what is best for your family. Comments provided by non-Families First individuals are not the opinion of Families First.

Saving the Parent-Teen Relationship

I have recently been talking to one of my close friends regarding parenting struggles he is having with his teenagers. The topic of protecting the parent-teen relationship in the context of setting boundaries and consequences has come up several times. I began to think about how to negotiate the boundaries and consequences all families must have to function effectively, within the parent-teen relationship.

In my friend’s case, he is concerned if he is too strict or pushes too hard he will damage the relationship. However, he has also acknowledged there is a good chance his sons are aware of his fear and use this to their advantage. On the other hand, my friend understands if he is passive he may give the boys the impression that their behaviors are acceptable or that he does not care about the behaviors or them. What is a parent to do?

First, like my friend, acknowledge your own stuff. If you have fears regarding the relationship, what are they? If you are having other strong emotional reactions, why are these arising? Is something reminding you of the way you were parented? Once you take a look at how you are initiating or responding and you label those things, it becomes easier to notice them and begin to address them when they arise within the context of the relationship. If you are really brave and want even more bang for your buck, share your discoveries with others. Consider talking about these things with a friend, your spouse, or even with your teenager. When others see us modeling good communication and self-disclosure, it becomes easier for them to do the same.

Try to get on the same page with the other parent. In a large majority of families the parents tend to be on opposite ends of the parenting spectrum. One will tend towards being very strict and the other will be more passive or lenient. To further complicate things, when the strict one is overly strict, the more passive parent feels bad for the kids and becomes even more lenient. The strict parent sees the passive parent as being “too easy” on the kids, so they up the strict factor. This can be a vicious cycle that is confusing for the kids. The goal is for both parents to come more to the middle of the spectrum, with more consistent behavior between the two parenting styles. This has several benefits; it helps the relationship between the two parents and decreases the possibility the kids can divide and conquer.

Educate yourself on what is developmentally appropriate. For pre-teens and teens it is normal for them to try to stretch their wings. They are going to try new things, consider new ideas and challenge what the adults in their lives believe. This is an important stage that teens go through as they are beginning to develop into their own person. It says a great deal about the strength of the parent-teen relationship when the teen is willing to practice testing limits and comfort levels in the safety of their home and as part of their relationships with their parents. Allow them some space to figure out who they are, what they believe, and who they want to become and then be there to provide a soft, safe place to fall, which undoubtedly will happen.

Really consider the reason behind a rule/boundary. By the time a typically developing child is in their teens the rules/boundaries for them should be few and far between- just those that ensure safety and adherence to the law. It is our goal as the adults in their lives to help them to begin to self-monitor and self-enforce more and more with each year of life. Love and Logic ® puts it well: we are to become more of a consultant to the child the older they become. It is our job to help them begin to make good decisions on their own. After all, we are not going to be there to direct them forever.

There is a huge shift that occurs in most parent-teen relationships when the parents stop directing and come along side as a consultant. Love and Logic ® tells us that consultant-style parenting looks like the following:
1.) Remember consultants don’t force their ideas on the other person. Ask permission to share some ideas or to help your teen brainstorm some ideas.
2.) If your teen declines then let them know they are welcome to come ask for some suggestions if they change their minds.
3.) If they accept your offer, help them to generate a list of options (feel free to add some they may not think of).
4.) Prompt the teen to think about how each option would work by saying something like, “How do you think that will work?” or “How will that likely turn out?”
5.) Allow the teen to try one or more option. Follow-up by asking them how it worked out for them. If it did not work, encourage them to pick another option from the list the two of you generated.
6.) If needed, offer additional suggestions, but remember to honor the fact the teen may decline your assistance.

Allow your teen to feel the consequences for their choices. All too often, we as adults rush to rescue our children from their own choices. It is important that we allow them to learn from their choices. When at all possible, allow natural consequences do the teaching. If there is not a safe natural consequence, use a logical consequence. Be there to support and love them during and after the consequences, but don’t bail them out. Avoid saying or implying that you “told them so.”

One final suggestion: be willing to “lose.” Teens are very good at trying out their newly acquired debating skills. They also are bent on proving they are correct and the adults are wrong. This is a typical stage that most teens go through. My friend recently began taking a class to address parent-child relationships. He said the whole class basically boils down to this: “Sometimes you have to lose to the child to save the relationship.” Please don’t take this as being passive or giving in to the child. Sometimes we have to be willing to admit we are wrong or that there might be a different way to consider/do things. Take advantage of the fact that your teen is younger, is not yet set in their ways and sees the world in a different way than you do.

Most importantly, have fun with those teens. Before you know it they will be adults and no longer under your roof. Challenging as it may be, enjoy this time with them! It is one of the toughest, most important and rewarding jobs you will ever do.

For more suggestions on ways to improve your relationship with your teens, additional ways to support your family and for other great parenting tips call the Family Support Line at 1-877-695-7996 OR 1-866-Las-Familias (866-527-3264) for Spanish speakers. You can also e-mail stacy@FamiliesFirstColorado.org with questions or concerns. Check us out on Facebook at Families First Colorado. The Family Support Line offers parenting tips, resources and information only and does not serve as legal or mental health advice. We believe you are the paramount person to decide what is best for your family. Comments provided by non-Families First individuals are not the opinion of Families First.

THE TWO ESSENTIAL SKILLS EVERY DAD NEEDS (by Dave Taylor)

In honor of Father’s Day, a special guest post from single-dad Dave Taylor from GoFatherhood.com

THE TWO ESSENTIAL SKILLS EVERY DAD NEEDS (by Dave Taylor)

Nothing has been so profound in my life than the day my first child was born. Suddenly I went from being an adult focused primarily on myself to being a caretaker, protector and guardian to a tiny little creature, a baby so helpless that she couldn't speak, couldn't communicate her needs, and couldn't give me encouragement when I did the right thing or feedback when I was doing something wrong.

Contrary to popular belief, however, I don't think that men are born with the "great Dad gene", so learning how to go from being a typical self-absorbed adult to being an attentive, nurturing father involves effort. It involves you being able to accept criticism, ponder your behaviors, remember the good (and bad) of your own childhood, and expend effort - sometimes a lot of effort - to change who you are and how you interact with the world.

Don't worry, women aren't born with the "great Mom gene" either, by the way. They're just way better at talking about what's difficult with their pals, sharing their ups and downs, and learning through childhood play how to nurture and coddle a baby. Yup, the sad truth: while we boys were busy practicing for battle, the girls were practicing to eventually be moms. Oops. 

Still, you can learn how to be a great Dad and with three kids of my own (16,13, and 9) I figure I have a combined 38 years of parenting upon which to base my advice. Since I'm a single Dad and have been for over six of those years, it's really like a 2x multiplier, so I'm giving myself credit for 50 parenting years. We good with that? Cool.

Based on all that accumulated parenting experience, I believe that the two most essential skills that any good Dad can acquire and nurture are: LISTENING and EMPATHY.

If you're like me, you live your life at a pretty fast pace. Emails, text messages, phone calls, it's often hurry up, I've got three more things I need to deal with. That can be fun and there's a certain sense of satisfaction when lots of things can be managed simultaneously, but that's exactly the wrong approach to take with your children.

It's like that idiotic myth of "quality time". That's BS. What your kids need at all ages is ATTENTION. In large doses. That's the basis of LISTENING and the reality is that if you're busy texting your colleagues, setting up a tee time or skimming the latest spreadsheet from the boss, you're not paying attention to your children. Whether you take them to the park or are helping them with homework, they need to be front and center.

A radical experiment: when you're spending time with your children, put your devices away. Really. Unless you're a trauma doc on call, email from the boss (or wife, or girlfriend) can wait 30min or an hour. Remember that golden rule you learned in school? Model to your children the behavior you'd like to have them exhibit towards you too. (that's why I have specific acceptable cell phone use times for my teens: I hate talking to the top of their head while they're texting friends as much as I imagine they hate me doing the same thing).

Attention is important, but the reason you want to give them undivided attention is so you can LISTEN to what they're telling you. Buried in that stream of babble and trivia about their daily lives are their concerns about school, friends, family, the future, the drama of their existence, the reality of their lives. If you're not actually listening, paying attention and processing what they're telling you, they'll just learn to shut up. When they hit those teen years you'll be long since shut out and they'll be isolated or just find someone else who listens. Perhaps Mom, perhaps some gang-banger in the 'hood, perhaps that creepy old guy down the street.

The harder skill to learn is EMPATHY, however. It's one thing to listen to your children tell you what's going on, the problems they're having with the class bully or their first crush and how the teacher yelled at them even though they were innocent of the crime, but another skill entirely to CARE about what they're telling you.

I know, I know, you're busy negotiating a $5mil deal for work and a problem's come up, all while your son is telling you how he hates baseball because he can't hit the darn ball when he's at bat. His problems? Just as big to him as yours are to you. That's where you get to work on that key Dad skill: being able to take a deep breath, get out of your own world and recognize that to your son, being a better baseball player might actually be life and death important. It's certainly just as important to him as being able to close the deal is for you.

Quite frankly, empathy is something I had in short supply when I first because a father. With a crying newborn and little experience around babies (moms have us beat in that department because they socialize with other moms + babies and babysit as teens, while we're out working on our cars) I found the experience of a newborn both astonishing -- it's MY baby! -- and frustrating as heck, since I had no idea why she'd be crying, upset, irritable, not sleeping.

Here's the good news: Empathy is not only a beneficial skill for parenting, it's a good skill to have in life overall. It'll help you understand why Joe in accounting is so depressed about his cat dying even though you personally hate cats, why your sister Mary refuses to speak to Uncle Bill even though you and Uncle Bill get along splendidly, and why your daughter's tattered shoes really are a big, big deal in her world.

So there you have it, my advice for how to be a great dad on this Father's Day: learn how to LISTEN and EMPATHIZE with your children. Oh, and remember to be silly and have fun with them. Children are such a blessing, such an amazing addition to your life. Don't forget to enjoy it!

Dave Taylor has been writing about parenting and fatherhood for over a decade and maintains the popular GoFatherhood.com site where he writes about his experiences as a single dad to three wonderful children. He's also a well-known tech expert and film critic, and is completely unsurprised his kids love movies and gadgets too. Find him online at DaveTaylorOnline.com.

For additional ways to support your family and for other great parenting tips call the Family Support Line at 1-800-CHILDREN (800-244-5373) OR 1-866-Las-Familias (866-527-3264) for Spanish speakers. You can also e-mail stacy@FamiliesFirstColorado.org with questions or concerns. The Family Support Line offers parenting tips, resources and information only and does not serve as legal or mental health advice. We believe you are the paramount person to decide what is best for your family. Comments provided by non-Families First individuals are not the opinion of Families First.

One Big Happy Family.

One Big Happy Family:

How do we achieve happiness as a family, especially when you consider varying personalities, interests and communication styles? Not to mention different genders and ages, two-adult homes and one-adult homes? I recently read an article based on a book by Bruce Feiler on this very topic. He introduces some interesting facts and concepts I think worthy of sharing. In our incredibly fast paced lives, full of stress and worry how do we find peace at home?

I think most people have heard how beneficial sharing family dinner together  can be. But an alternative to that can be other meals and snacks, such as breakfast or evening when everyone is more likely to be home. It can be difficult to get children’s attention and have meaningful conversation and a car ride can be a quiet and uninterrupted time to do so. Turn off the radio and electronics and use this time for some one-on-one time.  Surveys show that children want their parents to be less stressed and tired, even more than spending time together. Having a conversation about life’s expectations, stresses, self-care and how to cope can be very valuable for children. Another suggestion for effective conversation is to arrange your living area in a circle. People feel more connected and can take in verbal and body language best from this distance range and formation.  Plan a family meeting or discuss current conflict in this setting.

The most common time of day for conflict is dinner time. To avoid or minimize conflict, set expectations in terms of what time dinner is and who is responsible for what chores in meal preparation and clean-up. Set rules for what can and cannot be discussed at family meal time. Any sensitive or emotionally charged topics can be planned for another time outside of meal time. It is recommended that children be involved in choosing and planning their own consequences inside choices that parents set. A child is more invested when they have some control and responsibility in discipline. An interesting bit of research suggests that when there is difficult parent-child discussions it is often helpful to have more than one female involved. The article states reason being, that females are typically more sensitive to everyone’s input, more capable of reaching compromise and more efficient.

The good news is that research shows most families ARE happy! 75% say that family is the most important thing to them and 85% say that the family they have today is as close as or closer than the family they grew up in! Which areas can you improve for your family to achieve greater happiness?

 For more suggestions on improving happiness in your family, additional ways to support your family and for other great parenting tips call the Family Support Line at 1-800-CHILDREN (800-244-5373) OR 1-866-Las-Familias (866-527-3264) for Spanish speakers. You can also e-mail Sarah@FamiliesFirstColorado.org with questions or concerns. The Family Support Line offers parenting tips, resources and information only and does not serve as legal or mental health advice. We believe you are the paramount person to decide what is best for your family. Comments provided by non-Families First individuals are not the opinion of Families First.

We will never have all the answers...

Talking to your kids about violence, trauma and loss:
 Many, many people have and will be affected from this horrific morning in Conneticut where our most precious, our most innocent have been slain. No words are entirely adequate, however here are a few tips to support parents and caregivers during these extremely difficult times.
     All people experience trauma and hearing about trauma differently. Here some suggestions for talking to your kids about what they hear on the news and from friends and how to address common fears and concerns: “The American Humane Association offers these tips for parents and other caregivers to help children cope with the fear and uncertainty caused by the Connecticut school shootings: 
* Keep an eye on children’s emotional reactions. Talk to children – and just as important – listen to them. Encourage kids to express how they feel and ask if anything is worrying them.
* Regardless of age, reassure them frequently of their safety and security, and reinforce that you, local officials, and their communities are working to keep them safe. Older children may seem more capable, but can also be affected.
* Keep your descriptions to children simple and limit their exposure to graphic information. Keep to the basic facts that something bad happened but that they are safe. Use words they can understand and avoid technical details and terms such as “smoke grenades” and “sniper.”
 * Limit their access to television and radio news reports since young children may have trouble processing the enormity of the experience, and sometimes believe that each news report may be a new attack. * Be prepared for children to ask if such violence can occur to them. Do not lie but repeat that it is very unlikely and that you are there to keep them safe.
* Watch for symptoms of stress, including clinginess, stomachaches, headaches, nightmares, trouble eating or sleeping, or changes in behavior.
* If you are concerned about the way your children are responding, consult your doctor, school counselor or local mental health professional.”
For more ideas on talking to your children about violence, tragedy and loss and for  more ways to support your family and for other parenting tips call the Family Support Line at 1-800-CHILDREN (800-244-5373) OR 1-866-Las-Familias (866-527-3264) for Spanish speakers. You can also e-mail Sarah@FamiliesFirstColorado.org with questions or concerns. The Family Support Line offers parenting tips, resources and information only and does not serve as legal or mental health advice. We believe you are the paramount person to decide what is best for your family. Comments provided by non-Families First individuals are not the opinion of Families First.

An Attitude of Gratitude.

With many families still struggling and even those who are not, this is an appropriate time of year to teach an attitude of gratitude.  It may be easy for kids to focus on what they don’t have or won’t get, especially compared to those of their peers. Regardless of a families’ financial situation it is helpful  to use the holidays as a time to teach family values. Any gift, whether big or small, can come from the heart keeping the recipient in mind. So what values are important to you and your family?

The holidays are considered by many to be a time of excess. Teaching anything in moderation, to include gift giving, is a valuable lesson for all. This is a lesson in quality versus quantity and with the idea of thoughtful and mindfulness at heart. For families in financial struggle this may be a time to teach humility and the idea of thankfulness for what is as opposed to what isn’t. It can be an attitude of gratitude that there IS something in the glass at all, and whether it is half-empty or half-full is irrelevant. For any family, it is important to teach and model attitudes of acceptance and non-judgment towards others. Just because a family may be currently struggling does not mean they are lazy, ungrateful, or dependent. We do not know anyone’s circumstances based on what we see from the outside.  And lastly, an attitude of genuine kindness can go a long way this season, being kind to yourself as well as to others!

For more great ideas on talking to your about the holidays, stress, giving,  more ways to support your family and for other great parenting tips call the Family Support Line at 1-800-CHILDREN (800-244-5373) OR 1-866-Las-Familias (866-527-3264) for Spanish speakers. You can also e-mail Sarah@FamiliesFirstColorado.org with questions or concerns. The Family Support Line offers parenting tips, resources and information only and does not serve as legal or mental health advice. We believe you are the paramount person to decide what is best for your family. Comments provided by non-Families First individuals are not the opinion of Families First.

Choices.

With the recent Presidential elections I’m thinking a lot about the power of choice, our actions and consequences of those actions. As parents we are the ones able to vote in government elections, but how do our kids get a vote or have a say? And how do we prepare the future generation of voters to consider their responsibilities as citizens, to appropriately voice their own thoughts and opinions and to consider the costs of those decisions?

                Meal time and car time are great opportunities for this type of family discussion. Many people recommend family meals occur at least 2-3 times per week and, remember, these can be at breakfast not just dinner! Car time is valuable as well when phones, music and DVD players are turned off. Give your kids the chance to ‘vote’ on current family topics. This might be a time to consider reallocating chores, meal or entertainment choices. Discuss how democracy works and other forms of government. Are your kids members of Congress and you are the President with the ultimate veto power? These discussions are great ways to find out what’s on kid’s minds and what they value and think passionately about. This also gives kids the chance to be heard and feel empowered knowing that their opinion holds some weight in the family.

                In addition, and on a broader scale, there are life lessons to be learned about having a voice. All choices, decisions and actions have consequences. Consequences may be positive or negative. We can only control what we do, we cannot control the outcome. By making better decisions and choices we weight in our favor the chances of positive outcomes. Teaching your kids they have choices, even the choice to do nothing, empowers them to have a vote in any situation they may be involved in. These lessons can improve self-respect, self-control, positive motivation and living by intention instead of by accident.  As always, role modeling how your own opinion is voiced and sharing some of the consequences you have experienced is one of the most valuable messages of all.

For more great ideas on talking to your kids about government, community, personal responsibility and more ways to support your family and for other great parenting tips call the Family Support Line at 1-800-CHILDREN (800-244-5373) OR 1-866-Las-Familias (866-527-3264) for Spanish speakers. You can also e-mail Sarah@FamiliesFirstColorado.org with questions or concerns. The Family Support Line offers parenting tips, resources and information only and does not serve as legal or mental health advice. We believe you are the paramount person to decide what is best for your family. Comments provided by non-Families First individuals are not the opinion of Families First.

School readiness; are you, the parent ready?

At this point in September most of our children are settled back in school. How about the parents? It is common for kids to experience varying anxieties as school nears. It may be the first day jitters, middle-school transition or new peer pressures in high school. It is also common for parents to experience worries of their own. Today’s parents are faced with a number of school issues regarding their children. Parents may be concerned about the child’s readiness to start school, their ability to socialize and manage their peers, the influence from technology and media, facing change or experiencing separation. Each of these can be overwhelming for children AND parents to deal with.

 It is important that at the same time you are talking to your child about coping with changes, that you address your own anxieties. A sound support system is one way to do this. Forming a team at your child’s school and getting to know not only the teachers, but staff such as; administration, school counselors, special education leaders and the principal can be most helpful during the early school years. Find other parents of similarly aged children and talk about fears and challenges. Reach out to your community such as religious groups, family and extended family and community service organizations.  Parent s may need as much support as our students to get off to a great start and to work toward a solid educational foundation. We are all part of team, which ones will you join?!

For more ways to support your family and for other great parenting tips call the Family Support Line at 1-800-CHILDREN (800-244-5373) OR 1-866-Las-Familias (866-527-3264) for Spanish speakers. You can also e-mail Sarah@FamiliesFirstColorado.org with questions or concerns. The Family Support Line offers parenting tips, resources and information only and does not serve as legal or mental health advice. We believe you are the paramount person to decide what is best for your family. Comments provided by non-Families First individuals are not the opinion of Families First.