Domestic Violence Awareness Month

The frequency and severity of domestic violence can vary dramatically, but the unfortunate physical, emotional and psychological damage that can be caused by it can last a lifetime and often passes from parent to child, creating a cycle of abuse. An estimated 30 to 60 percent of people who commit violence against their intimate partner are also violent towards their children.

According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, one in 15 children are exposed to intimate partner violence each year, and 90% of these children are eyewitnesses to this violence. Witnessing violent behavior has a huge impact on a child's health and can increase a child's risk for developing anxiety and sleep disorders as an adult. It can also lead to mental and behavioral health issues including, higher levels of anger, disobedience and withdrawal. Witnessing domestic violence is also a major contributor to it becoming passed from one generation to the next. Boys who witness domestic violence are twice as likely to abuse their own children when they become adults, according to the Colorado Coalition Against Domestic Violence.

Unfortunately, it is not always easy to know if someone is abusive in the early stages of a relationship. Abusers tend to become increasingly more abusive and controlling over time. It may start subtly with name-calling, threats, possessiveness, or distrust. It might be easy to dismiss or downplay this behavior at first, especially if the person is apologetic, but eventually it will escalate to extreme control and abuse, including intimidation, threats, physical assault, battery, sexual assault, and/or emotional abuse.

The abuse inflicted by the perpetrator can cause victims of domestic abuse to experience a variety of emotional responses, both while in the relationship and once they leave. Since the victim knows the abuser best, it is important for them to think carefully through their situation and circumstances and do what is the best for themselves.

For support and assistance in finding helpful resources, call the Families First Support Line (877-695-7996).

Find out more about domestic violence at ncadv.org.

For anonymous, confidential help, 24/7, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY).

Jeremy's Journey

When Jeremy first came to Families First his only coping mechanism was extreme anger and violence. Every time he became overwhelmed or agitated he would exploded violently, punching holes through walls, causing major destruction to everything in sight. Unfortunately for Jeremy he was never taught how to deal with his anger, and only projected what he had learned while growing up. Luckily for him Families First was there to help. After quite some time and extensive therapy and treatment provided at the Families First Treatment Center, Jeremy began to exhibit improved behavior. It wasn’t until Jeremy faced an overwhelming public moment that we knew how much he had truly changed for the better. During, what was supposed to be a fun afternoon shopping, Jeremy was faced with a tough situation that he would have normally acted out in a violent manner. Instead he remained cool calm and collected, processed his anger and overcame the situation. We are happy to report that Jeremy now lives in a happy adoptive home and continues to make strides in his progress.


For more information about Families First's Children's Treatment Center please visit our website.

For parenting tips, parenting resources, or support call the Families First Support Line at 877-695-7996 OR 866-527-3264 for Spanish-speaking parents. You can also e-mail SupportLine@FamiliesFirstColorado.org with questions or concerns. Comments provided by non-Families First individuals are not the opinion of Families First.

Preventing or Decreasing Long-term Problems in Children

Parents/primary caregivers are the most important advocate for their children in all areas of their development, including social-emotional.  May is Mental Health Awareness month.     Children as young as newborns can have social-emotional issues.  Research shows, behavior problems that surface in early childhood are the single best predictor for several long-term outcomes, such as adolescent delinquency, gang involvement, incarceration, substance abuse, divorce, unemployment (Center for Evidence-Based Practice: Young Children with Challenging Behaviors, 2004).  The good news is that there are many preventative and early intervention programs available to help head off mental health issues in young children or to help lessen the intensity of the problems a child may experience. 

The following are some red flags that may indicate that a child could benefit from an assessment.  It should be noted that one or two red flags alone does not necessarily mean a child is having a mental health issue, but it does mean further observation, discussion, and evaluation may be indicated. 

-          Developmental concerns.

-          Not giving eye contact with primary caregiver(s).

-          Over or under reactivity to pain. 

-          Does not allowing soothing from primary caregivers when hurt or upset.  Does not engage in self-soothing behaviors.

-          Has problems with affection, becomes rigid when picked up/cuddled/touched or turns head away when being feed.  Does not initiate affection with those close to them.

-          Overly friendly with strangers.

-          Ongoing sleep and/or feeding issues.

-          Acting out behaviors such as, fire setting, excessive lying, or stealing.  Routinely tantrums or rages for more than 15 minutes for no apparent reason.

-          Intentional cruelty to animals or younger/weaker children.

-          Development of nervous or anxious behaviors that persist, including being easily startled or frightened.  Or routinely crying for 15 or minutes after separated from primary caregiver.

-          Play issues, such as withdraw or avoids playing with other children.  Lack of explorative behaviors/play.

-          Repetitive behaviors

If you are seeing any of these signs or symptoms in your children, regardless of how young they are please talk to your child’s health care provider or your local mental health center.  You can also call 1-800-Children, where we can help direct you to other resources and support.   

For additional ways to support your family and for other great parenting tips call the Family Support Line at 1-800-CHILDREN (800-244-5373) OR 1-866-Las-Familias (866-527-3264) for Spanish speakers. You can also e-mail stacy@FamiliesFirstColorado.org with questions or concerns. The Family Support Line offers parenting tips, resources and information only and does not serve as legal or mental health advice. We believe you are the paramount person to decide what is best for your family. Comments provided by non-Families First individuals are not the opinion of Families First.

How to Handle Biting in Young Children

I recently spent an afternoon with a good friend, who has a toddler.  While we were talking about parenting she told me her son has started biting his baby brother.  My friend said nothing she or her husband had tried is working.  Her son bit another child at childcare this week for the first time

Biting is a behavior that many toddlers display at one time or another.  It can be something that makes the adults feel frustrated and helpless.  There is hope! 

Whenever a child is having a behavioral issue adults should start by increasing positive interactions with the child, such as catching them being good, increasing affection, and increased praise.  Often times this will be all that is needed to decrease the negative behaviors.

If the biting continues to be an issue the next step is to try to prevent the biting.  Give the child a teething toy that can be used to bite on when needed.  Also increase adult supervision when the child is around other children.  Do not keep the child from interacting with other children, but make sure the adult is close and can help with the interactions.

What to do when a child does bite someone else:

1.)    The child who was hurt gets the attention.  Make a big deal about their owwie, hug them, give them an ice pack, or wash the hurt body part.  The child that was aggressive should be kept in eye sight so that he is not going off and hurting another child, family pet, or himself.

2.)    Once the above is completed, the adult should take the child who was aggressive gently but firmly by the hand and remove him from the situation.  One brief statement such as “teeth are not for biting” and then no other words or attention should be given to the child.  The adult should use a firm voice, but not yell or raise their voice.

3.)    The child should be away from everyone else for a minute or two, but in eye sight of an adult. 

4.)    Once he is calm, the adult will give him a hug or pat. 

5.)    As soon as the child who was hurt is ready and the child who was aggressive is being safe, and adult should help the two make-up. 

For more ideas on aggressive behaviors in children of all ages, ways to support your family, and other parenting tips call the Family Support Line at 1-800-CHILDREN (800-244-5373) OR 1-866-Las-Familias (866-527-3264) for Spanish speakers. You can also e-mail stacy@FamiliesFirstColorado.org with questions or concerns. The Family Support Line offers parenting tips, resources and information only and does not serve as legal or mental health advice. We believe the adult(s) raising the child is the expert on that child and knows what is best for their family. Comments provided by non-Families First individuals are not the opinion of Families First.