tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38044625293231046962024-03-05T01:07:47.740-07:00Families First. A blog for strengthening families.Families First. A blog for strengthening families.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05701588704746962295noreply@blogger.comBlogger50125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3804462529323104696.post-40566789937371521392018-02-15T15:30:00.000-07:002018-02-15T15:30:18.235-07:00Bedlam?! What is THAT, you ask?Bedlam is defined as a “scene of uproar and confusion.” Some synonyms are chaos, anarchy, pandemonium.<br />
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Does it ever feel like chaos or pandemonium in your house when it’s time for your kids to go to bed? Does your child have panic attacks accompanied by fitful sobbing and desperate pleas to NOT be left alone? Do they refuse to sleep in their own bed? Or refuse to go to sleep unless you are there, in the room, or in the bed with them? Or maybe they go to sleep reluctantly, only to make their way into your bedroom at some point in the night? Is this a silent, sneaky invasion? Or is it a loud, tearful, panicked, whole-house-waking event? <br />
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From conversations I’ve had with other parents, we are all in this boat at some point in our children’s young lives, usually for much longer than we would like – months and even years.<br />
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Sleep is very important for all of us, and especially our growing children. During childhood, sleep directly impacts physical and mental development. Sleep is also prime healing time for our bodies, which pump out growth hormones to assist in restoring our bodies and repairing any damage done during the day, like scraped knees, bumped heads and other boo-boos. More noticeably, if we don’t get enough sleep, we are grumpier, out of sorts, and our ability to make good choices and control impulses is compromised. This is a recipe for disaster for parents!<br />
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How do we tame the bedtime beasts so we are all getting enough sleep?<br />
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There are no easy, one-size-fits-all solutions to this problem. And a certain degree of trial and error should be expected.<br />
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Our kids are Casey, 5, and Austin, 10. Austin, in general, has always been a champion sleeper who never argues when it’s bedtime. He is asleep within minutes of his head hitting the pillow, and doesn’t wake up until he’s logged his 10-12 hours of ZZZ’s. When he was little, Austin even napped 1-2 hours per day until he was in kindergarten! Nice!!<br />
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Casey, on the other hand, has always resisted going to sleep. My earliest memory of Casey's bedtime anxiety was when she was a baby, still in her infant car seat, and we were leaving a restaurant after dinner. It was dark outside and dark in the car. She cried all the way home. There was no other explanation for why she was crying. We even turned on the overhead light in the car to test our theory. When the light was on, she was calm. When it was dark, she cried. On normal nights at home, she would cry whenever I put her in her crib at bedtime. So I chose to cuddle and rock her to sleep. No big deal, I thought! A little extra snuggle time couldn’t hurt! But I wonder: did I help create the bedtime beast Casey is today?<br />
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Honestly, the point is moot. Here we are, with a 5-year-old who cannot go to sleep by herself, in her own bed. <br />
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20 months ago we moved into a new house. Sleeping arrangements for the kids were very similar between the old house and the new house: each kid has their own room, with a connecting "Jack & Jill" bathroom between. The main difference in sleeping arrangements is that the master bedroom in the new house is downstairs. In the old house it was upstairs, just down the hall from our kid's rooms. Both kids were having a bit of trouble adjusting to sleeping in the new house. So we suggested Casey sleep in Austin's room, on his bottom trundle bed. Both kids liked the idea, gave us no problems at bedtime, and we parents had many blissful nights of peaceful, uninterrupted sleep. <br />
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Ahhh! Problem solved! Until.....<br />
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... about a year later Austin decided he was too old to have his little sister sleeping in his room with him. Plus, she would often wake him up in the middle of the night, talking in her sleep. We decided it was not fair to compromise Austin's sleep to accommodate Casey.<br />
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We knew Casey would not go back to her old room without some kind of incentive. So we found a really awesome deal on Craigslist for a "princess castle bed," with a slide - wow! Casey was thrilled!! I made sure Casey understood that if we got her this bed, she needed to sleep in it, on her own, no arguments. "Oh! I promise, mommy!"<br />
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Well, Casey was able to keep her promise for about 2 weeks. Then her bedtime fear started to get the best of her and she started crying when we tucked her in, and also coming down to our room in the middle of the night. We threatened to get rid of the bed. She didn't care. We installed multiple nightlights, and offered to leave the bathroom lights on. Nothing helped. And all professional advice warns that bright lights are not conducive to restful sleep. So, we were not headed in the right direction.<br />
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But there is a happy ending to this bedtime story! Several weeks, and lots of trials and errors later, I can pretty confidently say we are all getting better sleep than we were after moving Casey out of Austin's room, earlier this year. The best news is that Casey has been logging 10 hours of sleep consistently, for 3 weeks! The primary reason for this is that we moved up her bedtime, from 8:30 to 8. The secondary reason is our "every 10 minutes" strategy.<br />
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Here is how this works....We tuck her in, kiss her good night, and make a deal: we will promise to come check on her in 10 minutes if she promises to close her eyes and try to go to sleep. We read about this idea in a couple of different articles. And while the strategy has the potential of requiring parents to visit their kid's rooms many times before the kid finally falls asleep, Casey always falls asleep right away. Admittedly, Casey does not really know how long 10 minutes is, we don't set a timer, and it's usually closer to 15 minutes before we check on her the first time. <br />
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We repeat this process if/when Casey wakes up in the middle of the night and comes to our room. Without speaking, we take her hand, walk her back to her bed, tuck her in, and tell her "we'll see you in 10 minutes." It's worth noting that Casey is not usually upset when she wakes up in the middle of the night. She just wants reassurance. On these nights she goes back to sleep within 10-15 minutes. On nights where she wakes up from a bad dream or nightmare (and is upset), she does not fall back to sleep as quickly. It can take multiple visits for her to fall back to sleep. On these nights we will increase the time incrementally between each visit: 10 minutes for the first visit, then 15 minutes, then 20 minutes. It has never taken more than 4 visits, and this has only happened 2 or 3 nights.<br />
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In the past week, she has even gone 2-3 nights in a row without coming down at all! Yay! Progress!!<br />
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Here are some do's and don't's we learned during this journey that we feel are important to share.<br />
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DO make concessions. The real game-changer for us with Casey was promising that we would come and check on her "every 10 minutes" until we went to bed. AND agreeing to do the same thing when she woke us up in the middle of the night, without getting annoyed. Do we enjoy being woken out of sound sleep at 3 am? No! But we are keeping our eyes on the prize. <br />
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DON'T deviate from the plan. I can't stress this enough. Kids need routine and structure, and SLEEP! Commit to the plan and do not miss a night. I promise your hard work and patience will pay off.<br />
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DO use facts, logic and reason. Kids are smarter than we give them credit for. Tell them what you are doing and why, in terms they can grasp. It feels better when we can be honest with them about why we do or do not do certain things. We explained to Casey that having too much light on in her room at bedtime is not good for her, and the doctor told us that it's ok to only have on a small night light and/or a bathroom light. She argued. But we were firm. And to set the mood for bedtime, we turn off bright lights while we are getting on PJ's, brushing teeth and reading stories. We also explained the importance of sleep to her when discussing why she is going to bed earlier than her brother - sleep makes you grow taller, stronger, faster! What kid doesn't want those things?!<br />
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DON'T punish or threaten. Trying to force your child to overcome his or her fear or intense anxiety by punishing or threatening them will only make a bad situation worse. I could share some lofty psychology-speak about why this is. But please, just take it from parents who tried - it does NOT work! And you feel like a schmuck for making your child feel worse than they did before you threatened or punished them.<br />
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DO try and figure out WHY this is happening. Are they stressed about a change? Did they have a fight with a friend? Did they just start a new school? If you have more than 1 child, you have probably already realized they are very different. But it bears repeating – what caused a bedtime problem for one child is probably not causing the bedtime problem for the other child. Sometime during the day, ask them if something is bothering them. Try to get them to share what is making them afraid or worried at night, during bedtime. If a traumatic event is causing the bedtime problems, you may consider consulting a care provider to get additional support.<br />
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DON’T over-analyze. If your child doesn’t know or can’t explain the source of their fear, it’s ok. Sometimes kids are just afraid of the dark, or being alone at night. Often, the process in helping your child overcome their fears will be then same, regardless of the “why.” We found this was true for us.<br />
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DO listen to and validate your child’s fears. Everyone has fears, even adults. Try asking “What did you dream about?” Or “What are you afraid of?” if the anxiety is happening while you’re getting them ready for bed. And then after they share their scary dream or fear/worry, “Yikes! That’s sounds scary!” Or, “I have had scary dreams like that before! It’s no fun!”<br />
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DON’T get angry or make fun of their fears – they are very real to your child! Also, don’t prompt them or put ideas in their heads (Did you dream about a monster? A zombie? The scary show you watched earlier?) It may be tempting to THINK you know the fear, and understandable to try and get to the root of the matter as soon as possible. But trying to name their fear before they have a chance puts words in their mouths, and may make them start worrying about something they were not worrying about before.<br />
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DO reassure them – “You are safe!” Let them know you will keep them safe, your house is safe and their bed is safe. And DO tell them monsters, zombies or any other creature they think are under their bed, in their closet or otherwise waiting for the lights to go out to attack are NOT real.<br />
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DON’T tell them you will beat up, kill or slay any monsters, dragons or creatures under the bed or in the closet. Saying such things reinforces for your child that these creature DO in fact exist, and therefore must be lurking in dark places, ready to eat up small children as soon as the lights go out.<br />
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DO create a happy bedtime routine that is conducive for peaceful sleep. Make your child’s room comfortable, with dim light, favorite stuffed animals or blankets. If you find that soothing music helps your child – go for it! Read one or two bedtime books, ask your child what was the best thing they did that day. Or if you know something great they accomplished, remind them of it. “You learned a new sight word!” “You learned how to tie your shoe….how to pour the milk…your street name…whatever!” This builds their confidence which will help them conquer their fears. Some friends have had success with using guardian angels or dream catchers to help their kids overcome their bedtime fears.<br />
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DON’T …give up! To tame the bedtime beasts you may have to devise a plan A, plan B and plan C. Then, months later, you may have to go back to the drawing board and start over again.<br />
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In conclusion, every bedtime beast is different. What works for taming one beast may not work for taming another beast. Hopefully my story will give you reassurance and hope that with lots of love, creativity and patience, you too can tame your bedtime beast!Families First. A blog for strengthening families.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05701588704746962295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3804462529323104696.post-65494068528626497842018-01-22T17:50:00.001-07:002018-01-22T17:50:24.650-07:00Struggle with teaching your kids responsibility?So it's a new year and perhaps you are thinking about goals for your yourself and your children. One common goal for many parents has to do with responsibility, and how to teach it. You've been trying to for years now and yet, somehow, your kids still aren't quite getting it. They still need to be pushed to get their homework done, to clean their room, or to do their chores around the house. It's getting harder and harder for you. What can you do?<br />
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We've heard it many times before, "It's hard to push a chain." This could likely be a problem of motivation. How can you make this a situation where your children are self-motivated rather than one where they are doing, or not doing, what you want?<br />
The answer is "buy in." Your children need to feel that they are included in the decisions to do these things. They can pick which tasks need to be done each day, like homework, and which ones less often. If they help make a calendar for their tasks they are already taking responsibility.<br />
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Another way to motivate by pulling the chain is to change the consequences. Instead of taking things away, provide rewards when things get better. And let them pick the rewards from a list that you make with them. Again, this puts them into a position of making choices for themselves. And isn't that a large part of responsibility? You might want to use a point system where they earn more points for harder jobs, or getting them done in good fashion. But points are not taken away, only not earned when there is no effort made. Avoid the ego battle.<br />
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There are many ways to adapt these ideas to fit your family. You know yourself and your children. That's your job. I know you already spend lots of time and energy with your kids and might think that this is one more thing on top. But pulling the chain is much easier and works better. And it changes the interaction to a positive one. You will find your children talking with you instead of arguing. When kids participate in life decisions they become self motivated, and more mature.<br />
Good luck to you in this important goal. It will help your children see that taking responsibility can be a positive experience for themselves. And for you too.<br />
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Fred Buschhoff<br />
Author of The Constructive Parent<br />
Families First Parent Educator<br />
Families First. A blog for strengthening families.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05701588704746962295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3804462529323104696.post-46346391690965647222017-10-27T15:18:00.002-07:002017-10-27T15:18:31.488-07:00National Work and Family Month - 10 Tips for Moms Seeking Work-Life BalanceTips for Moms Seeking a Work-Life Balance<br />
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1. Let Go of the Guilt <br />
"Rather than dwell on how you're not with your child, think about how your role in the company is benefitting the family." <br />
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2. Find Quality Childcare <br />
"Ask your network of friends and family for references to nannies, babysitters, and daycare centers." <br />
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3. Make the Mornings Easier <br />
"Avoid starting the day on a frazzled note by getting organized the night before." <br />
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4. Create and Organize a Family Calendar <br />
"Figure out your family's priorities. A calendar can include dates when bills are due, a chore chart for the kids, a list of school and family events, extracurricular activities, birthdays, and more." <br />
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5. Communicate with Your Employer <br />
"Before talking to your employer or HR representative, construct a written plan detailing what you need." <br />
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6. Stay Connected During the Day <br />
"Stay connected with your children even when you're not together." <br />
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7. Limit Distractions and Time Wasters <br />
"Be disciplined and set time limits when checking email or making phone calls, things you can do when the kids are sleeping." <br />
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8. Create Special Family Activities <br />
"Making time for your kids is crucial, both during the week and on the weekends, to nurture your family dynamic and allow everyone to bond." <br />
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9. Spend Time with Your Partner <br />
"Remember to nurture your relationship with your partner, who will often be the number one person by your side." <br />
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10. Create Moments for Yourself <br />
"By managing time wisely, you can fit in valuable "me" time regularly."<br />
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Call Families First for any questions, information or resources on parenting for the working mom. 877-695-7996Families First. A blog for strengthening families.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05701588704746962295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3804462529323104696.post-16651226554885694612017-10-27T15:13:00.002-07:002017-10-27T15:13:19.812-07:00October is Bully Prevention MonthBeing bullied by peers is the most frequent and damaging form of abuse encountered by children, having more severe long-term consequences than adult abuse, according to a recent study. One in three children report being bullied at some point in their lives. Of the children that reported being bullied, nearly half stated they were unlikely to tell their parents or a teacher about it. Instead, these children often internalize their emotions due to shame and suffer in silence.<br />
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Bullying is any type of aggressive behavior that is used repeatedly to dominate someone. It can result in physical and emotional harm that often lasts into adulthood—especially for those who were bullied more frequently or more severely. Researchers found that bullied children have an increased risk of developing anxiety disorders and depression in adulthood. They are also more likely to have poor relationships, few friends, low self-esteem, poor school performance, financial issues, difficulty keeping a job and poor general health, including a higher risk of psychiatric disorders and serious illness. <br />
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According to a study called The Youth Voice Project, students reported that having allying adults and peers that they felt comfortable talking to helped them the most when coping with bullying by providing positive support through connection, encouragement, affiliation, and listening. <br />
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Families First is here to support you if you suspect your child may be involved in bullying. We offer classes that teach communication skills to get kids talking. It is important for adults to have conversations with children about bullying so they understand that it is unacceptable. Every child deserves to grow up feeling safe and valued. <br />
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Call 877-695-7996 to receive help for you child or more information about bully prevention.<br />
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Find out more about bullying at stopbullying.gov. <br />
Families First. A blog for strengthening families.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05701588704746962295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3804462529323104696.post-23117596948589839352017-10-27T15:05:00.000-07:002017-10-27T15:05:00.438-07:00Domestic Violence Awareness MonthThe frequency and severity of domestic violence can vary dramatically, but the unfortunate physical, emotional and psychological damage that can be caused by it can last a lifetime and often passes from parent to child, creating a cycle of abuse. An estimated 30 to 60 percent of people who commit violence against their intimate partner are also violent towards their children. <br />
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According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, one in 15 children are exposed to intimate partner violence each year, and 90% of these children are eyewitnesses to this violence. Witnessing violent behavior has a huge impact on a child's health and can increase a child's risk for developing anxiety and sleep disorders as an adult. It can also lead to mental and behavioral health issues including, higher levels of anger, disobedience and withdrawal. Witnessing domestic violence is also a major contributor to it becoming passed from one generation to the next. Boys who witness domestic violence are twice as likely to abuse their own children when they become adults, according to the Colorado Coalition Against Domestic Violence. <br />
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Unfortunately, it is not always easy to know if someone is abusive in the early stages of a relationship. Abusers tend to become increasingly more abusive and controlling over time. It may start subtly with name-calling, threats, possessiveness, or distrust. It might be easy to dismiss or downplay this behavior at first, especially if the person is apologetic, but eventually it will escalate to extreme control and abuse, including intimidation, threats, physical assault, battery, sexual assault, and/or emotional abuse. <br />
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The abuse inflicted by the perpetrator can cause victims of domestic abuse to experience a variety of emotional responses, both while in the relationship and once they leave. Since the victim knows the abuser best, it is important for them to think carefully through their situation and circumstances and do what is the best for themselves. <br />
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For support and assistance in finding helpful resources, call the Families First Support Line (877-695-7996).<br />
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Find out more about domestic violence at ncadv.org. <br />
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For anonymous, confidential help, 24/7, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY). Families First. A blog for strengthening families.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05701588704746962295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3804462529323104696.post-30769496314248842362017-05-19T13:42:00.000-07:002017-05-19T13:42:21.655-07:00Jeremy's Journey<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhapbDE45uoZj5pM_VfSN5LzGlfy8Zp075q6Gp4a__LPynB_6l86Kib2vk7oiGGe8j4RsLr1kApVYQVBxl5gFdpjULYZ6tDJ1SyYSLqP3O3BwKQA245YnTodbd4Bu_ZuXBNEaesvAoMDLHT/s1600/kid+at+dentist.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhapbDE45uoZj5pM_VfSN5LzGlfy8Zp075q6Gp4a__LPynB_6l86Kib2vk7oiGGe8j4RsLr1kApVYQVBxl5gFdpjULYZ6tDJ1SyYSLqP3O3BwKQA245YnTodbd4Bu_ZuXBNEaesvAoMDLHT/s320/kid+at+dentist.JPG" width="320" height="180" /></a></div>When Jeremy first came to Families First his only coping mechanism was extreme anger and violence. Every time he became overwhelmed or agitated he would exploded violently, punching holes through walls, causing major destruction to everything in sight. Unfortunately for Jeremy he was never taught how to deal with his anger, and only projected what he had learned while growing up. Luckily for him Families First was there to help. After quite some time and extensive therapy and treatment provided at the Families First Treatment Center, Jeremy began to exhibit improved behavior. It wasn’t until Jeremy faced an overwhelming public moment that we knew how much he had truly changed for the better. During, what was supposed to be a fun afternoon shopping, Jeremy was faced with a tough situation that he would have normally acted out in a violent manner. Instead he remained cool calm and collected, processed his anger and overcame the situation. We are happy to report that Jeremy now lives in a happy adoptive home and continues to make strides in his progress.<br />
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For more information about Families First's Children's Treatment Center please visit our <a href="http://familiesfirstcolorado.org/ctc.html">website</a>. <br />
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For parenting tips, parenting resources, or support call the Families First Support Line at 877-695-7996 OR 866-527-3264 for Spanish-speaking parents. You can also e-mail SupportLine@FamiliesFirstColorado.org with questions or concerns. Comments provided by non-Families First individuals are not the opinion of Families First.Families First. A blog for strengthening families.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05701588704746962295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3804462529323104696.post-54983705779329138472017-02-22T16:01:00.000-07:002017-02-22T16:03:48.494-07:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhojOTlDjcOlsT7RITBWTMkCalpVvTrD_f97_023hyrYuVnUh_utIQyf0eJNtAZXhSwv3b8Z8nmkBmPbpPsdradRqNL9x-I2p2QBs5wJfM0PTJwfwvVNe9I_TBZEX5PdSskc8x_6ykokWt1/s1600/CircleofParentsLogoColor.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhojOTlDjcOlsT7RITBWTMkCalpVvTrD_f97_023hyrYuVnUh_utIQyf0eJNtAZXhSwv3b8Z8nmkBmPbpPsdradRqNL9x-I2p2QBs5wJfM0PTJwfwvVNe9I_TBZEX5PdSskc8x_6ykokWt1/s400/CircleofParentsLogoColor.jpg" width="400" height="197" /></a></div><i>The topics and suggestions in my Families First Circle of Parents® group have helped me significantly in becoming a better person and in learning how to treat my daughter in our daily exchanges. I'm in a Spanish speaking group at Families First. I am learning how to educate my daughters each day. Since I have attended the Tuesday night parent group, my life with my family is more beautiful because there is more communication between me and my daughters. I have two daughters aged 14 and 10 years. It is not easy being a parent, but thanks to this group, I am learning new tools on how to be a better mother and about dealing effectively with them at their respective ages. We also learn much more when sharing our parenting experiences of other group members. I came to this group experiencing problems with my daughter’s behavior and have gradually begun to find solutions that have helped modify her behavior in very positive ways. </i><br />
– Circulo de Padres® group participant<br />
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For more information about Families First's Circle of Parents® program please visit our <a href="http://www.familiesfirstcolorado.org/">website</a>. <br />
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For parenting tips, parenting resources, or support call the Families First Support Line at <br />
877-695-7996 OR 866-527-3264 for Spanish-speaking parents. You can also e-mail SupportLine@FamiliesFirstColorado.org with questions or concerns. Comments provided by non-Families First individuals are not the opinion of Families First.Families First. A blog for strengthening families.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05701588704746962295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3804462529323104696.post-21864429671797952632017-02-13T14:38:00.000-07:002017-02-13T14:38:03.617-07:00Turning to Families First for Strength<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGyL2Int2jtsKi_FgRjgjZx8hOV3qUJXAfhBaOSA35CbJdwB0RksJxc_bPYfe1oIxPE0ycu2IQAW_U1M4aPPB5ORFfbNvUWZoQlunpjyztdGf91ALAg3f6KvYrYjI3K0is9J5TxPB_mqZd/s1600/iStock_000001105116Medium.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGyL2Int2jtsKi_FgRjgjZx8hOV3qUJXAfhBaOSA35CbJdwB0RksJxc_bPYfe1oIxPE0ycu2IQAW_U1M4aPPB5ORFfbNvUWZoQlunpjyztdGf91ALAg3f6KvYrYjI3K0is9J5TxPB_mqZd/s320/iStock_000001105116Medium.jpg" width="320" height="249" /></a></div>Megan’s heart is in the right place. She has been legal guardian and adoptive mother to a twelve year old boy since he was two, and this boy is the son of a child Megan fostered years ago. The foster daughter had seen her share of troubles as she began using drugs when she was still a teen and ultimately was reduced to living on the streets. The little boy did not bond to his biological mother or to Megan in his early years and was subsequently diagnosed with attachment disorder. <br />
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Megan chose to attend Families First Circle of Parents® groups in the hope of finding the support she needed. She also wanted some guidance to help reinforce her parenting style. Megan now provides a firm, consistent and loving environment for this child and relies heavily on the group as a trusted gathering of parents who allow her to vent her frustrations and find companionship and support from the group as a whole.<br />
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For more information about Families First's Circle of Parents® program please visit our <a href="http://familiesfirstcolorado.org/circlegroup.html">website</a>. <br />
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For parenting tips, parenting resources, or support call the Families First Support Line at <br />
877-695-7996 OR 866-527-3264 for Spanish-speaking parents. You can also e-mail SupportLine@FamiliesFirstColorado.org with questions or concerns. Comments provided by <br />
non-Families First individuals are not the opinion of Families First.Families First. A blog for strengthening families.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05701588704746962295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3804462529323104696.post-40007230880277076452017-02-07T16:33:00.000-07:002017-02-07T16:33:33.341-07:00Charlene's Circle of Support<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi15Kp6H2eUNHz2vCOFjwX2WBByrxsI62QeYCl_AqsVuB2ogAPjx-lHyYsjU3f1XHNdAtJGUwkBVwJtb_LzJxuRgyW3jaOOILppqQnXKL7X6I5DLDpMj4bNHvPqxNtjXb4YZLtt-Q17RC2O/s1600/j0396084.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi15Kp6H2eUNHz2vCOFjwX2WBByrxsI62QeYCl_AqsVuB2ogAPjx-lHyYsjU3f1XHNdAtJGUwkBVwJtb_LzJxuRgyW3jaOOILppqQnXKL7X6I5DLDpMj4bNHvPqxNtjXb4YZLtt-Q17RC2O/s320/j0396084.jpg" width="320" height="213" /></a></div>Charlene began attending our Circle of Parents® about 8 months ago. She is single, has two children and one has a very serious disease. This mom, just a short two years ago, packed up and left a very abuse relationship. She has been on her own to raise her young children since. The youngest has a rare disease and as has been in and out of the hospital many times. Charlene almost lost custody of her kids because of having to work and not being able to care appropriately for them. <br />
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Recently, her little one was hospitalized again and Charlene was beside herself. Unsure how to care for her other child and be at the hospital with her little one, the Circle of Parents® members came. They took turns helping her. One mom came and when Charlene woke up, she was embarrassed she had been sleeping while this mom came by to visit. The mom said to her, “Oh no, you needed the sleep, I watched over your little one. You need rest and I am perfectly fine to sit here so that you can get it.” The mom felt such relief, this group of people she hadn’t even met 8 months ago, had now become a very big support system. She exclaimed at the next group meeting, “I completely understand now why so many of you are “lifers”, I will be sticking around for a long time.”<br />
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For more information about Families First's Circle of Parents® program please visit our <a href="http://familiesfirstcolorado.org/circlegroup.html">website</a>. <br />
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For parenting tips, parenting resources, or support call the Families First Support Line at <br />
877-695-7996 OR 866-527-3264 for Spanish-speaking parents. You can also e-mail SupportLine@FamiliesFirstColorado.org with questions or concerns. Comments provided by non-Families First individuals are not the opinion of Families First.Families First. A blog for strengthening families.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05701588704746962295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3804462529323104696.post-87739194302076512272017-01-26T14:39:00.000-07:002017-01-26T14:39:11.642-07:00Giving Katie's Parents Hope<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFj9ZUAR9eo_CWb8TODPFjOVzz2Llg4AlGC7x1ZBjorhIXFwVMemhRZ4OLvl7zy8ZkHvs_tWiITCkqCjbpzd5uBjXVCrMiM1s6xrzAWQvjD2mSHKsNe_fqX3_MRwNSpcg8eGo9YjbddeKD/s1600/iStock_000000919498Small.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFj9ZUAR9eo_CWb8TODPFjOVzz2Llg4AlGC7x1ZBjorhIXFwVMemhRZ4OLvl7zy8ZkHvs_tWiITCkqCjbpzd5uBjXVCrMiM1s6xrzAWQvjD2mSHKsNe_fqX3_MRwNSpcg8eGo9YjbddeKD/s320/iStock_000000919498Small.jpg" width="212" height="320" /></a></div>Parents of six week old Katie, a little girl suffering from challenging physical limitations, found themselves overwhelmed with what they were facing. The mere identification of the disability afflicting their baby was enough to send the frantic parents into a panic. It wasn’t until the family turned to the early intervention services offered by Parents as Teachers, a program of Families First, that Katie began to respond well to treatment. <br />
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Families First made it possible for Katie’s parents to be given access to adaptive tools they can use to effectively manage Katie’s disability. The little girl is now thriving in a preschool program. Katie’s parents are now so fully engaged in the scheduled home visits, they report that they look forward to subsequent visits with enthusiasm.<br />
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For more information about Families First's <br />
Parents as Teachers program please visit our <a href="http://www.familiesfirstcolorado.org/pAT.html">website</a>. <br />
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For parenting tips, parenting resources, or support call the Families First Support Line at <br />
877-695-7996 OR 866-527-3264 for Spanish-speaking parents. You can also e-mail SupportLine@FamiliesFirstColorado.org with questions or concerns. Comments provided by <br />
non-Families First individuals are not the opinion of Families First.Families First. A blog for strengthening families.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05701588704746962295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3804462529323104696.post-14091702342448288762017-01-13T15:35:00.001-07:002017-01-13T15:49:56.797-07:00Things Our Family Did to Get by When I Lost My JobAuthor: Jannette Matula, Mother of Two & Former Families First Volunteer<br />
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In August 2015, my boss came into my office to tell me my position was being eliminated effective immediately, and to please pack up my desk. I turned in my laptop, my keys and badge, and was escorted out of the office an hour later.<br />
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While I knew I would eventually find another job, I also knew it would take weeks, possibly months. And my next job would not likely pay as well as this one. Yikes!<br />
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While everyone’s financial realities are unique, the impact of abruptly losing an income is often the same for everyone – traumatic and scary. Will we be able to pay our bills? Will we be able to provide food for our family? Will we be able to pay our rent or mortgage?<br />
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Here are the things my family did to adjust to our new financial situation…<br />
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<b>We came up with a game plan.</b> First, my husband and I sat down to discuss our new budget and find ways to either eliminate or reduce all non-essential spending. This included eating out at restaurants, ordering in delivery (pizza, Chinese, etc.), going to the movies, and other things. We started evaluating every purchase….is this something we NEED (food on the table, gas in the car, electricity)? Or something we WANT (a new pair of shoes, the latest electronic gadget, a Pumpkin Spice latte from Starbucks)? Can I do this myself (fix the light switch, repair the washing machine, etc.) without having to pay someone else to do it?<br />
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<b>We looked at ways to simplify.</b> It sounds counter-intuitive, but when you have less money to spend on “stuff” and “extras”, it is easier to focus on basic human needs. These can be boiled down to simply: food, water, shelter, safety, love. There are a lot of articles and blogs that have great tips for how to simplify in many aspects of life. Here are a few I like:<br />
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Becoming Minimalist - <a href="http://www.becomingminimalist.com/the-10-most-important-things-to-simplify-in-your-life/">http://www.becomingminimalist.com/the-10-most-important-things-to-simplify-in-your-life/</a><br />
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10 Simple Strategies - <a href="http://www.moneytalksnews.com/10-simple-strategies-simplify-your-life/">http://www.moneytalksnews.com/10-simple-strategies-simplify-your-life/</a><br />
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Mr. Money Mustache - <a href="http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/">http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/</a><br />
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<b>We involved the whole family. </b> Once the initial shock, anger and sadness started to fade, I decided to turn my situation into a teachable moment. How we adults respond to life pulling the rug out from under us sets an example for how our children will respond to similar disappointments in their lives. It was important for me to let my kids know we needed to make some changes, while also reassuring them that we would be fine. I also let them know that we are in this together as a family, and here are some ways they could help: do some extra (age appropriate) chores around the house (<a href="http://www.webmd.com/parenting/features/chores-for-children">http://www.webmd.com/parenting/features/chores-for-children</a>), not ask for treats and extras, think of fun things we could do that do not require spending money (<a href="http://www.kiplinger.com/article/saving/T065-C011-S001-50-free-or-cheap-things-to-do-with-kids.html">http://www.kiplinger.com/article/saving/T065-C011-S001-50-free-or-cheap-things-to-do-with-kids.html</a>)<br />
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<b>Ask for help. </b> It is easy to let pride get in the way of caring for ourselves and being honest with others about hard times we are facing. I told my neighbors and parents of my kids’ friends what was going on. I asked those closest to us if they could watch my toddler if I had a job interview I had to drive to. I asked for clothing hand-me-downs for my kids. Any time I did have to make a non-standard expenditure (car repair, utility repair, etc.) I asked what discounts were available. 9 times out of 10, I was offered 5-10% off!<br />
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On December 23, about 4 months later, I accepted a new job paying much less than what I had been earning before. In the meantime, many of the changes my family had made while I was out of work became engrained into our lifestyle – our new, more minimalist reality. I still ask for discounts when making non-standard purchases, we still go to “kids eat free” nights at restaurants when we want to have dinner out as a family, and I still gratefully accept clothing hand-me-downs for my kids.<br />
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I have been “downsized” 3 times in 24 years of being in the workforce, which has taught me the importance of being prepared for it – emotionally and financially. My goal for myself and my children is financial security, and I believe most of us share this goal. With that in mind, I leave you with this list of values which I found in an article about a recent survey. The survey reveals these values as having likely contributed to the foundation of success for the wealthiest people in our society:<br />
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• Failure is not a bad thing.<br />
• Some things are more important than money.<br />
• Be a disciplined saver and an opportunistic buyer.<br />
• Patience is a virtue.<br />
• Be generous to those in need.<br />
• Marriage is a life-long partnership.<br />
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Here is a link to the full article <a href="http://www.inc.com/marla-tabaka/want-your-kids-to-become-financially-secure-adults-parents-of-todays-wealthy-did.html">http://www.inc.com/marla-tabaka/want-your-kids-to-become-financially-secure-adults-parents-of-todays-wealthy-did.html</a><br />
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Parents, if you are between jobs and need support or advice, please call Families First at 877-695-7996. We are here to help!<br />
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For more great parenting tips, parenting resources, suggestions or support call the Families First Support Line at 877-695-7996 OR 866-527-3264 for Spanish-speaking parents. You can also e-mail SupportLine@FamiliesFirstColorado.org with questions or concerns. Comments provided by non-Families First individuals are not the opinion of Families First.<br />
Families First. A blog for strengthening families.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05701588704746962295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3804462529323104696.post-15598001539405989472016-12-22T15:56:00.000-07:002016-12-22T15:57:33.875-07:00Sadi's Story<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghE9iTb8qGt3VG-LlaNC9jJ4x0gZmxUd1rhcNtVhPUy_RieHGsjCX7iI-wZ_HXnfnq6YESqu7BeVeDdQY78xwRgjzcUeK1v03p4_oaar-95RP6h-SjeSlP2Xe5OftEfIPb13JDKVHgaE2J/s1600/j0411818.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghE9iTb8qGt3VG-LlaNC9jJ4x0gZmxUd1rhcNtVhPUy_RieHGsjCX7iI-wZ_HXnfnq6YESqu7BeVeDdQY78xwRgjzcUeK1v03p4_oaar-95RP6h-SjeSlP2Xe5OftEfIPb13JDKVHgaE2J/s320/j0411818.jpg" width="320" height="312" /></a></div>Sadi was an introverted child who struggled in group settings and would often isolate herself, running away from the <b>Families First Children’s Group</b> and escaping the room altogether. She seemed to prefer sitting alone on a couch situated outside the room and she refused to participate in any activity, instead turning to her own game or toy. Sadi would often act out and yell, sometimes using profanity that made those around her most uncomfortable. She also resorted to striking other children. <b>Families First</b> team members spent many hours working with Sadi. Lately, she has been calmer, choosing to use her “indoor voice” and to participate in activities chosen by the group. She now seems to understand that even though the group may choose to do something she doesn’t want to do, everyone can all still have fun doing things together. To date, Sadi has participated in making Rice Krispies treats and has learned the names of all the children in her group. When she doesn’t know their name, she does not hesitate to ask them. She is also learning the names of all the group leaders and addresses them by name. Sadi is an engaged and happy child!<br />
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The provision of the Children’s Group is one of the most important components of the Family Support Services Program. Without the availability of this program (in the form of a Children’s Group), many parents would not be able to attend Circle of Parents® support group meetings or Parent Education classes provided by <b>Families First</b>. By working with the children while the parents are also receiving education and support, parent support groups and classes become a more positive experience for the whole family. The Children’s Group is more than maintenance level babysitting. It is assessing the needs of the children then developing and implementing activities to meet those needs. These activities are flexible and involve much individualized attention on the part of the Children’s Group Leader. The Children’s Group also provides a wide array of activities that promote positive social emotional development, community building, and a system of support.<br />
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<b>Circle of Parents® national support group model</b> offers free meetings for anyone in a parenting role. <br />
· Parents lead the groups with the help of a trained facilitator.<br />
· Parents decide the topics, lead the discussion and are involved in the decision making.<br />
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<b>Circle of Parents®</b> encourages the development of parents’ leadership skills—not just as parents and group leaders, but in all aspects of their lives.<br />
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For more information on Families First programs and services, parenting tips, and information on local resources please scroll down or click through our blog archive to the left to see our previous posts, visit our website at <b>www.familiesfirstcolorado.org</b> or call us at <b>877-695-7996</b>.Families First. A blog for strengthening families.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05701588704746962295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3804462529323104696.post-46281950064930762662016-12-22T12:47:00.000-07:002016-12-22T13:09:07.417-07:00Cherished Holiday Memories<b>The holidays are a time for family and reflection. Here at Families First we have so many wonderful memories to look back on and be thankful for, and we wanted to share some of our stories with you. </b><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgr5vVUSudYunD7l8f_IEPncdztmvKVniiKBLQmoy-FbCicfhNkNeg_V4z-DuC0_9PSYHXbCcClSkpIV81SF1FAxDPGzAn7E1Vx36S78BH2XCJ5TaI5YrwUP-qmLIdBDNTXtUPGCkXFecqf/s1600/h.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgr5vVUSudYunD7l8f_IEPncdztmvKVniiKBLQmoy-FbCicfhNkNeg_V4z-DuC0_9PSYHXbCcClSkpIV81SF1FAxDPGzAn7E1Vx36S78BH2XCJ5TaI5YrwUP-qmLIdBDNTXtUPGCkXFecqf/s320/h.jpg" width="212" height="320" /></a></div><br />
A young man who was in our Children’s Center 10 years ago contacted us recently. He is heading off to the Marine Corp and has adjusted quite well in his adoptive home. When he came to us, he had been adopted and the adoptive parents had physically abused him. He was not a trusting young boy. He had undergone major breaches of trust. He now is doing well and a very stable and happy young man, building a life of his own.<br />
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<i>Families First</i> CHILDREN’S RESIDENTIAL TREATMENT CENTER</b> offers a safe, nurturing and homelike environment for boys and girls, ages three to twelve, who have been abused or neglected and whose resulting behavioral problems make living in a family setting impossible. We provide an intensive wrap around treatment program to prepare the children for life with a forever family.<br />
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For more information on Families First programs and services, parenting tips, and information on local resources please scroll down or click through our blog archive to the left to see our previous posts, visit our website at <b>www.familiesfirstcolorado.org</b> or call us at <b>877-695-7996</b>.<br />
Families First. A blog for strengthening families.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05701588704746962295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3804462529323104696.post-16220825511201276382016-12-22T11:17:00.000-07:002016-12-22T13:11:11.482-07:00Janey's Story<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0PdkHy4ofMlZMz92MaF_wjK-SWlE2Vdw3yd6uYivIGvsA9CW8kaJiYgf89kwdUYuPhwP8qlRrEiXVxnEDwxWlsp4op6BovJD-2WJd8ijTxAMyI8wL5Kaw_ux4hMAd0LgCuLbbR4MJD0s1/s1600/j0386415.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0PdkHy4ofMlZMz92MaF_wjK-SWlE2Vdw3yd6uYivIGvsA9CW8kaJiYgf89kwdUYuPhwP8qlRrEiXVxnEDwxWlsp4op6BovJD-2WJd8ijTxAMyI8wL5Kaw_ux4hMAd0LgCuLbbR4MJD0s1/s320/j0386415.jpg" width="213" height="320" /></a></div><br />
Three year old Janey was a child caught between two parents who seemed unable to agree on the best approach to disciplining her. Not only did the disagreements cause trouble in the relationship between young Janey and her parents, but mounting resentments in daily exchanges between Janey’s mother and father were inevitable and painful. Parents as Teachers Home Visitation Parent Educator, worked patiently with the parents, sharing with them the latest research indicating that physical forms of discipline are not always effective, and in some cases psychologically damaging to children. She shared several disciplinary techniques that have been proven to be more effective than physical punishment. At first, Janey’s father opposed what he saw as “being soft” on his child. But a breakthrough came one day when Janey’s father had a dramatic change of heart: he was reconsidering the use of spanking because he saw his little girl playing with her dolls and mimicking the use of spanking to “discipline” the dolls. Witnessing this behavior in his small daughter saddened and shamed him, impacting him greatly. Janey’s father also realized that, in the final analysis, alternative forms of discipline shared by the PAT Parent Educator of <b>Families First</b> were more effective than those he had chosen.<br />
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<b>Parents as Teachers (PAT) is a national affiliate certified, voluntary home visitation<br />
program that works with families with children prenatal through kindergarten.</b><br />
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Referrals can be made prenatal to four years old. The program is designed to keep children in the program for 2+ years. They graduate upon completing kindergarten. Services are available in English and Spanish. PAT serves seven metro counties (Adams, some Arapahoe, Boulder, Broomfield, Denver, Douglas and Jefferson - many other counties in the state have their own PAT programs). <br />
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<b> PAT home visits address:</b><br />
Parent-child interactions<br />
Perform family well-being checks<br />
Domestic violence screenings<br />
Protective factor screenings<br />
Developmental screenings:hearing, vision, and general health; parent/child interaction; gross motor skills; fine motor skills; social skills & development; emotional skills & development<br />
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For more information on Families First programs and services, parenting tips, and information on local resources please scroll down or click through our blog archive on the upper, right side of the screen to see our previous posts, visit our website at <b>www.familiesfirstcolorado.org</b> or call us at <b>877-695-7996</b>.Families First. A blog for strengthening families.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05701588704746962295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3804462529323104696.post-15842003009498443862016-10-03T14:05:00.000-07:002016-10-05T14:51:21.895-07:00CONSISTENCY, THE CEMENT.<b>Author: Fred Buschhoff</b><br />
Retired Elementary School Teacher <br />
Current Families First Educator of <i>Constructive Parenting</i> Class<br />
Author of "The Constructive Parent"<br />
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Parents want what is best for their children, to grow up healthy and happy and successful. But getting kids on the right track and keeping them there can be very difficult and often frustrating. Throughout my years of teaching in the Denver Public Schools and working with Families First I have seen many approaches to discipline. What works for one set of parents may not necessarily be correct for a different family. Even within the family, one parent often approaches discipline differently than the other. You will hear many different ideas about what you should be doing from your friends and relatives. Some will tell you that you are too easy with your kids, that they are being spoiled. Others will tell you that you are too strict, that your kids aren’t getting chances to make their own decisions. Listen. Think. Digest. Then settle into the style that suits you, that you are comfortable with. And once you do, maintain it.<br />
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The problem is not whether you should be strict or more relaxed with your expectations. Children who are raised in homes with tight rules, who are required to do their homework as soon as they come home from school, who have bedtimes set by their parents and schedules for meals, and who must use respectful speech, can grow up to be productive and happy adults. On the other hand, children who can do their homework when they want, but before the TV or Gameboy goes on, who help set the schedule for meals, and who can talk casually with their parents ,using their own words, can also grow up to be happy and productive adults. How tightly you run your family is your decision. You and your spouse or partner should discuss these matters and find a style that is comfortable for you as parents. But then, as much as you can, be consistent.<br />
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Children who grow up in homes where the rules and expectations remain generally the same, where the boundaries are predictable, feel secure. They, like any kids, will test the rules occasionally. But when they find that they can’t change things with misbehaviors, they will get back on track. Dramatic problems occur, however, when rules, expectations and consequences become unpredictable.<br />
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I know that you are not robots who can always react the same way. You have emotions and moods that affect how you deal with your family. That is normal. But it will help your children if the expectations you have set remain in a predictable range. Consistently, the children who had the most problems in class, who didn’t focus on reading, math or learning in general, and who used all their energies to test the rules and break the fences, came from homes where the rules changed greatly depending on the parents’ moods. They also had many problems making and keeping friends.<br />
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So, please do your children, and yourselves a favor. Find and maintain a style that suits you. And stick with it.<br />
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For more great parenting tips, parenting resources, suggestions or support call the Families First Support Line at 877-695-7996 OR 866-527-3264 for Spanish-speaking parents. You can also e-mail SupportLine@FamiliesFirstColorado.org with questions or concerns. Comments provided by non-Families First individuals are not the opinion of Families First.Families First. A blog for strengthening families.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05701588704746962295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3804462529323104696.post-40863658956277648522016-08-24T10:23:00.000-07:002016-08-24T11:21:08.944-07:00Mud<b>Claire Poole, PsyD<br />
Families First Children's Treatment Center Clinical Director</b><br />
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My mother had a simple and effective go-to parenting strategy - go outside and play. "Outside" was the most important part, and my father contributed to the plan by setting aside a little corner in the yard for me to dig in the dirt and make mud. The other kids with their shiny new indoor toys were envious of my mud. To the intuitive mind of the child, this made perfect sense.<br />
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As with a lot of psychology, science is now catching up to the intuitively obvious. In recent years there has been an increasing stream of research showing that time spent in nature is good for the mind and body; my intuition tells me it is good for the soul as well. A walk in the park does more to lower blood pressure and stress than an equally strenuous walk on the treadmill. Grade school students in classrooms with windows do better than they do in rooms without windows, and when the window opens up on a garden or even a shrubbery the effect is more pronounced. Families who spend leisure time together in natural surroundings get along better and report higher levels of satisfaction in family life. Sailors on submarines who line up for the chance to see birds and the coastline through the periscope are more efficient and less stressed. Treatment programs for teens struggling with substance abuse, delinquency, or depression often include wilderness treks with positive effects. There is a long list of similar research findings.<br />
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This really shouldn’t surprise us. Through the ages wise men and prophets, from Moses and Lao Tzu, to St. Thomas and the Buddha, to Thoreau and Muir, have sought guidance and inspiration in the wild. When most families lived in a tribe, a village, or on a farm the natural world was part of daily existence. It has been like that for 10,000 years and more. In the modern world, really for just the last few generations, a great many people spend their entire lives without ever playing in the mud. I remember being in Grand Central Station in New York and realizing with a start that most of the people there had never seen the stars except for those painted on the station's ceiling. When was the last time you gazed at the Milky Way? <br />
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So here's my point. Let's turn off the TV, put down the tablet, and take our kids outside for a walk in the woods. It's good for them, good for the family, even good for the planet. And take it from me, mud squishing through your toes is one of life's little pleasures not to be missed.<br />
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For more great parenting tips, parenting resources, suggestions or support call the Families First Support Line at 1-877-695-7996 OR 1-866-527-3264 for Spanish-speaking parents. You can also e-mail SupportLine@FamiliesFirstColorado.org with questions or concerns. Comments provided by non-Families First individuals are not the opinion of Families First. Families First. A blog for strengthening families.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05701588704746962295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3804462529323104696.post-2588016887802795852016-08-01T11:12:00.002-07:002016-08-01T11:13:59.131-07:00It's Time for School!<b>Author: Christina - Support Line Volunteer, Student, and Mother</b><br />
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There can be a lot of mixed feelings at the end of summer for both you and your kids. For you: there might be sadness that your babies are a year older and there can be now more fun adventures. There can also be the feeling of relief that the kids are heading back to a routine and structure, which might have become a bit lax during summer. For the kids: Well, do they ever really enjoy going back to school?<br />
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In an attempt to help you out, I sponsored a school-aged child in need (mine is still too young) and went back to school shopping in hopes of finding the best deals and steals so that the start of the school year will not break your budget. <br />
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I went to two stores, Dollar Tree and Wal-Mart, and I nearly broke even. I got everything required for my child per the school supply list. There was one exception though, I did NOT buy headphones at Walmart and if I had, Dollar Tree would have come out much further ahead. I did not go shopping at Target. Target is my usual preferred shopping location, but I decided to only use Wal-Mart and the Dollar Tree for this experiment. I cannot speak for the deals found at Target for this specific entry, however in the past I have done very well at Target and found everything I needed. <br />
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The main difference I noticed between Wal-Mart and the Dollar Tree was there were far more options at Wal-Mart. I could choose from a wide selection of options. The Dollar Tree had a very limited selection of what was available and I had to simply make do. The Dollar Tree I went to did seem to still be putting out supplies, so there might be more options by the time you read this post. I also found at Wal-Mart I was able to select a backpack and other necessities for my kiddo. I did not include those items on the post because those were extras. They were not technically required by the school, but Wal-Mart did have a selection of backpacks from $9.98 to over $100. <br />
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As I said before, I nearly broke even. At Dollar Tree I found every single item on the school list and my total was $32.18. At Wal-Mart I found everything except for the headphones and my total was $33.57. There was a pair of headphones priced at $5, so I had I picked those up, the total would have been approximately $38.57, give or take the taxes. Overall, you can get everything you need at affordable prices.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjJu5xotLz2XipMnstqLwCnkiOSZxMbPTN_RnmsBCABc8dySLbq2kQC78Ks20Im6ksMXtlW6HGZk87Zdi0F-YqLu1FxBu8AynHFade-B6m2syJ-qmOKVVx2jwnXEiXfmx8sRC4-YcPi7o7/s1600/List+2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjJu5xotLz2XipMnstqLwCnkiOSZxMbPTN_RnmsBCABc8dySLbq2kQC78Ks20Im6ksMXtlW6HGZk87Zdi0F-YqLu1FxBu8AynHFade-B6m2syJ-qmOKVVx2jwnXEiXfmx8sRC4-YcPi7o7/s400/List+2.JPG" width="295" height="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqn2DRHwECgcqVBb9WmBOY7zBzFp3JkCfTR5hiVEejn-UyebpX9ZnyAp5brnbX6G4xPVEz7rHDUVR5nVOQ10q_p7sMYKy8AEVkimm6q99ryoUzXPaxDtnlZPAP8sY7W0-tt9DICQ4lRhKQ/s1600/Dollar+tree+2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqn2DRHwECgcqVBb9WmBOY7zBzFp3JkCfTR5hiVEejn-UyebpX9ZnyAp5brnbX6G4xPVEz7rHDUVR5nVOQ10q_p7sMYKy8AEVkimm6q99ryoUzXPaxDtnlZPAP8sY7W0-tt9DICQ4lRhKQ/s400/Dollar+tree+2.JPG" width="400" height="316" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxQDF-avViOUP_7m7FuOt9shEMWx8UCebiPCdFlQB4NZTLCsg1aXISrwi2heSUzD5CCeBEaipmYUQDX34Aa3eB3gIFkF7ouXu-bhAAKFKqZ9xvk4oCioTcbziFcMgI6UdWp3GGpJs18NBw/s1600/Walmart2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxQDF-avViOUP_7m7FuOt9shEMWx8UCebiPCdFlQB4NZTLCsg1aXISrwi2heSUzD5CCeBEaipmYUQDX34Aa3eB3gIFkF7ouXu-bhAAKFKqZ9xvk4oCioTcbziFcMgI6UdWp3GGpJs18NBw/s400/Walmart2.JPG" width="400" height="316" /></a></div><br />
<b>A Few More Tips: </b><br />
• Buy store brand<br />
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• Look for sale items<br />
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• Consider the unit prices. A box of 24 crayons might be priced at $2.00, which looks like more than the box of 8 crayons for $1.00, but the 24 box is $0.08 per crayons versus $0.12 per crayon for the 8 count box. <br />
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• Do not go shopping with your kids. I repeat: <b>DO NOT GO SHOPPING WITH THE KIDS</b>! Sure, you want Suzie and Steve to pick out things they want, but they will kill your budget. Ask them what their favorite colors or characters are this year and find things within that theme for them. <br />
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<b>If This is Still Beyond Your Income</b><br />
School supplies are expensive! We know how hard it can be to not only get all the items the school requires, but to get clothing, shoes, backpacks, and all those little gadgets kids need. Please do not hesitate to ask for help. There are many places gathering school supplies donations throughout all of Colorado. In fact, there are so many places, it is too hard to list. Please call the Families First Support Line at 303-695-7996 and our wonderful team members will gladly help you find a site in your county and for your specific school. <br />
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My kiddo did not need a calculator for her grade. I know the Texas Instruments are expensive and a total budget killer. There are schools which will allow families to “rent” a calculator for the year. I would inquire with the school before dropping $100 on a calculator. There are also options online for used graphing calculators. People like me who needed it for that one math class in college are now looking to sell them, so see what might be available online if your school does not have a rental/borrow option. <br />
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In regard to back to school clothes, I personally prefer the thrift store. Kids grow at an alarming rate, not only does this mean they need an array of size options, but kid’s clothes are usually not worn for very long. A lot of times I find things which look brand new at the thrift store. Plus, think of it this way, you are helping the environment and saving money! It’s a win-win!<br />
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One other option out there: makes friends with parents whose kids are slightly older than yours! They might have all the things you need. I have a wonderful friend whose sons are older than my boy. After her children grow out of their clothes and toys, she passes them down to me. This helps me with my budget so much! Maybe start a clothing/toy/supplies swap with a group of friends. Everyone can pass items around as needed. I know there are some groups on Facebook and you can find one in your area. <br />
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<b><i>And </i>you can still find more deal ideas <a href="http://www.simplemost.com/back-school-cheat-sheet-get-best-deal-school-supplies/?partner=scripps&partner-sub=KMGH&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=partner&utm_campaign=scripps&utm_content=KMGH">here!</a></b><br />
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For more great parenting tips, parenting resources, suggestions or support call the Families First Support Line at 1-877-695-7996 OR 1-866-527-3264 for Spanish-speaking parents. You can also e-mail SupportLine@FamiliesFirstColorado.org with questions or concerns. Comments provided by non-Families First individuals are not the opinion of Families First. <br />
Families First. A blog for strengthening families.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05701588704746962295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3804462529323104696.post-19994439590877835732016-07-10T16:00:00.000-07:002016-07-13T09:33:28.420-07:00Summer Cooling OptionsAuthor: Christina, mother and Support Line volunteer<br />
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Wrapping up our series on how to survive the summer heat, here are a few more ideas to stay cool:<br />
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<b>Reusable and inexpensive ice packs </b><br />
You can purchase dish sponges from the Dollar Store if you don’t already have some on hand, place in a plastic bag, wet with water, and toss in the freezer. Not only are these “ice packs” reusable and cheaper than the hard plastic one’s from the store, but they make great boo-boo ice packs. Since they are soft they conform nicely to elbows, knees, and cheeks. Once it warms back up, return to the freezer for use later. These are also great in lunch boxes and you won’t be as upset if these get lost.<br />
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<b>Frozen washcloths </b><br />
These make great neck wraps and head cloths for a quick cool down. Give a frozen washcloth to a teething baby for a nice option to chew on. It will soothe baby’s gums and can be tossed in the washer. <br />
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<b>Get out of town! </b><br />
One great element of living in Colorado is there are mountains nearby. When it’s hot in the city, it is usually cooler at higher elevations. Take a day trip to a State or National Park. Not only are you getting to cooler lands, but this is a great opportunity to explore nature with the kids. <br />
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Check out <a href="http://www.denver.org/events/free-denver-events/?close=1">Denver’s webpage</a>. There is a whole section about FREE events going on! <br />
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For more great parenting tips, parenting resources, suggestions or support call the Families First Support Line at 1-877-695-7996 OR 1-866-527-3264 for Spanish-speaking parents. You can also e-mail SupportLine@FamiliesFirstColorado.org with questions or concerns. Comments provided by non-Families First individuals are not the opinion of Families First. <br />
Families First. A blog for strengthening families.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05701588704746962295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3804462529323104696.post-48784197672710492662016-07-09T11:00:00.000-07:002016-07-11T15:35:13.286-07:00Summer Heat Snack IdeasFrom Christina, mother and Support Line volunteer<br />
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Continuing our series on keeping cool in the summer heat, here are a few ideas for snack-time when it's hot out!<br />
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• Instead of expensive popsicles, which seem to melt faster than they can be eaten, put grapes on a skewer and freeze. Even if you freeze the grapes without the skewer, they make an excellent kid friendly cold treat. Just be sure to not give grapes to babies as they pose a choking hazard.<br />
• Freeze bananas! Peel the banana, push a popsicle stick in one end, and freeze them in a plastic bag. For added yumminess, melt some semi-sweet chocolate chips and dip the frozen banana in the chocolate. Return to the freezer until the chocolate is solid and enjoy some cold deliciousness.<br />
• Jello! Kids love Jello! Why not make it extra special and make the jigglers. Follow the instructions in the box and then pour into fun molds, or pour into a baking dish and cut out shapes with a cookie cutter.<br />
• Keep celery and carrots in the fridge for a cool snack. Add peanut butter and suddenly it is a filling and cooling snack for those 3PM munchies. <br />
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For more great parenting tips, parenting resources, suggestions or support call the Families First Support Line at 1-877-695-7996 OR 1-866-527-3264 for Spanish-speaking parents. You can also e-mail SupportLine@FamiliesFirstColorado.org with questions or concerns. Comments provided by non-Families First individuals are not the opinion of Families First. Families First. A blog for strengthening families.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05701588704746962295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3804462529323104696.post-27292152292544287332016-07-07T13:30:00.000-07:002016-07-08T09:43:03.882-07:00Keeping Kids Cool on These HOT Days!Author: Christina, mother and Support Line volunteer<br />
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Kids are the best at letting us know they are miserable. Here are just a few ideas which might help you keep your cool when they complain about the heat.<br />
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<b>Activities:</b><br />
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Did you know the Children’s Museum offers $1 admission for those who have SNAP? When you go to the desk to pay, present your Quest card and admission is a mere $1 per person.<br />
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• This is a perfect place to get the kids out of the house and into air-conditioning without breaking the bank. <br />
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• Pack a lunch, the restaurant is very expensive, and head over the museum. <br />
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• There is something to do at all age levels and the kids will be exhausted. <br />
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• Bring quarters for the lockers provided to store your lunch and change of clothes. The kids will get wet in the bubble room!<br />
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<b>Get the kids outside! </b><br />
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• Head to the park and play! Bring a picnic lunch and enjoy some time together. <br />
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• Water balloons fights can be lots of fun! Have the kids separate into teams, let them chose a team color, and then add a drop the of food coloring to the balloon before filling with water. Put the kids in white shirts have them go crazy. <br />
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• Turn them loose in the yard with a sprinkler. <br />
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• Don’t have a sprinkler? No problem! You can make your own from a soda bottle. Use a screwdriver or other sharp device to punch holes in the bottle. Parents, you should do that part! Then tape the bottle to the garden hose with duct tape. Turn on the hose and instant sprinkler fun! Plus, you get the yard watered. I know mine is looking brown these days.<br />
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• Don’t have a yard the kids can play in? There are plenty of FREE splash pads and water fountains to play in around the city. Follow this <a href="http://www.milehighmamas.com/blog/2016/05/09/guide-to-denvers-splash-pads/">link </a>to find one near you. <br />
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<b>Most importantly: REMEMBER THE SUNSCREEN!</b> It only takes 15 minutes to get a sunburn. After a sunburn starts, sun poisoning is next, and you will soon have a very sick kiddo. Also, be sure to provide plenty of water. We don’t want our littles drying out while playing in the water!<br />
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For more great parenting tips, parenting resources, suggestions or support call the Families First Support Line at 1-877-695-7996 OR 1-866-527-3264 for Spanish-speaking parents. You can also e-mail SupportLine@FamiliesFirstColorado.org with questions or concerns. Comments provided by non-Families First individuals are not the opinion of Families First. <br />
Families First. A blog for strengthening families.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05701588704746962295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3804462529323104696.post-39764597006558089592016-07-05T11:35:00.000-07:002016-07-05T11:35:19.115-07:00How to Survive the Summer Heat at HomeAuthor: Christina, mother of a toddler & Support Line Volunteer<br />
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The first day of summer was on June 20th, however our hottest days are right around the corner. These tips are ways to help survive those hot days and ways to keep energy bills down. <br />
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1. Keep the shades closed during the day. Nothing makes a house hotter than having the summer sun coming in through the windows.<br />
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2. Raise the temperature on your thermostat. Running the AC all day might keep the house more comfortable, but the electricity bill will go through roof. Xcel Energy charges more per kilowatt hour after your usage goes above 500 kw. Set the AC to 85 during the day while away from home and 78 while home. This is still rather warm, but tank tops, shorts, and glasses of ice water help keep you cool.<br />
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3. Turn off all unnecessary appliances, lights, ceiling fans, anything which draws power. Ceiling fans help to cool you, not the air, so if you are not in the room, turn off the fan. Also, make sure you are unplugging chargers if not actively charging a device. Chargers continue to draw energy even if there is not a device attached.<br />
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4. Use the microwave instead of the oven. Nothing heats up a house faster than an oven and the microwave uses less power than the oven to cook the same type of food. <br />
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5. Freeze empty milk jugs to keep the fridge cool. Sometimes the power goes out because too many people are using energy and it overloads the grid. Instead of throwing away empty milk jugs, wash them out, fill them with water, and place in the freezer. Not only does this become a backup ice block for your cooler during camping trips and picnics (which can then be used as drinking water once thawed), but if the power goes out, those jugs of ice can help keep refrigerated items cool until the power comes back on. <br />
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6. If you or a family member has a medical condition which requires electricity, get a letter from your doctor and send it to the energy company and to the local fire department. If the power goes out due to a grid overload, the fire department will come and rescue those who need electricity for medical reasons. The power company will also send workers to areas where the power went out faster if there is a medical need in that area.<br />
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Now let’s say your energy bill has become more than you can afford. There are few things you can do if finances are tight.<br />
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1. Ask for help! <b>Call the Families First Support Line at 303-695-7996</b> and the wonderful team members will help you find resources which may help you to make your payments. <br />
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2. Understand the law! The energy company has to send you a notice of shut off within a reasonable amount of time. They are not allowed to just turn off your electricity without notice. If there is someone in the home who has a medical need for electricity, such as using oxygen, keeping insulin cold, or an inability to handle extreme heat, or if there is a child in the home, the power company can grant you a one-time 90 day extension before turning off your power.<br />
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For more great parenting tips, parenting resources, suggestions or support call the Families First Support Line at 1-877-695-7996 OR 1-866-527-3264 for Spanish-speaking parents. You can also e-mail SupportLine@FamiliesFirstColorado.org with questions or concerns. Comments provided by non-Families First individuals are not the opinion of Families First. <br />
Families First. A blog for strengthening families.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05701588704746962295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3804462529323104696.post-34166574067577930062016-04-26T14:15:00.001-07:002016-04-28T14:23:38.411-07:00Parent: Friend or Foe? Author: Jannette Matula, Former Support Line Volunteer <br />
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Which do you consider yourself? Maybe you think you are both? Maybe neither?<br />
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Some parents think it is best to be friends with our children. I think it might be nice if, when my kids are adults, they enjoyed spending time with me. Even better, if they called me their "friend"! When we do nice things for our kids, or give them things they want, or behave in ways they like, we may feel like their friend. But it's not really the same.<br />
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Sometimes we certainly feel like a foe: enforcing rules, saying no to the "MA" rated video game that "all my friends are playing," ensuring homework is done before the TV comes on. I've been told a few times by my angry child: "You are NOT my friend!" And I fully expect to hear "I hate you!" uttered or screamed at me in the not-so-distant future. (Take a deep breathe…count to 10…)<br />
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These words sting, no doubt. But I find a little peace in acknowledging that I am neither friend nor foe. I am something different. My job is perhaps the most difficult and important job I will ever aspire to be perfect at, although try as I might, sometimes I will still fail. I am a parent. I show unconditional love to my children by providing structure and setting good examples for how I would like to see them treat themselves and others (most of the time). I do what is reasonably in my power to keep them out of harm's way. I say no when it would be easier to say yes...again, most of the time. I am not perfect, but I try my best with the knowledge and tools that I have. <br />
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During those times when your child is angrily yelling "You are not my friend!" hopefully you can pause, take a deep breathe, and agree with them. Then, with calm and love in your voice, you can gently say that no, you are not their friend...you are their parent.<br />
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For more great parenting tips, parenting resources, suggestions or support call the Families First Support Line at 1-877-695-7996 OR 1-866-527-3264 for Spanish-speaking parents. You can also e-mail SupportLine@FamiliesFirstColorado.org with questions or concerns. Comments provided by non-Families First individuals are not the opinion of Families First. <br />
Families First. A blog for strengthening families.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05701588704746962295noreply@blogger.com0Denver, CO, USA39.7392358 -104.99025139.3486558 -105.635698 40.1298158 -104.344804tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3804462529323104696.post-89773994944039561112014-07-08T13:15:00.000-07:002014-07-08T13:20:16.651-07:00Summer Fun as a FamilyThe taste of ice cold lemonade, the feeling of the cool grass between your toes, the sounds of children laughing, the smell of sunscreen and chlorine, and seeing your neighbors in their yards… ahh, summer time is finally here! It doesn’t matter your age or what your work schedule looks like, this time of year seems to bring out the fun in most of us. For our kids it is the break they have been looking forward to since New Year. For adults, it reminds us of our own youth and how carefree we felt in the summer. Summer is a great time to reconnect as a family and to strengthen our relationships with each other. Beware, summer is fleeting! Start planning some fun things to do as a family now.<br />
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Try some of these suggestions to make some summer family fun of your own:<br />
Sleep under the stars in your own backyard<br />
Have a water fight<br />
Go for a picnic<br />
Play tag<br />
Blow bubbles<br />
Tend a garden<br />
Build a butterfly or fairy garden<br />
Go on a summer nature hunt<br />
Have a hula hoop, jump rope, or basketball throwing contest<br />
Climb a tree<br />
Go play on the slide, swings, merry-go-round at your local park<br />
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A tried and true family fun time is available at your local library. Most libraries have at least a summer reading program and many have something several times a week to keep kids of all ages engaged during the summer. Call your local library or visit their website to see what is planned. Many events are for the whole family. In addition, you can always come up with fun things to do as a family around the resources at the library. You can do a reading challenge as a family, borrow movies or music to use as a family, find a cookbook and cook a recipe together, research something at the library and then go do it in real life as a family. Library cards are free. The possibilities with a library card are endless. <br />
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Check out your local nature center. They have several activities each season that are free or minimal charge. Kids are amazed at how each visit to the local nature center is a whole new adventure. They will see or discover something new each time they go. Here is a list of the nature center in Colorado. <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_nature_centers_in_Colorado">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_nature_centers_in_Colorado</a>.<br />
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Speaking of nature, if you live in the Pueblo area there is a great day camp for middle school students through the CSU Extension call Pueblo Youth Naturally. They are always looking for adult volunteers. What a great way to bond with your kids this summer by participate in a camp with them. The cost is $25 for the full week and includes entrance into all outings, transportation to all outings, snacks, and lunch. For more information go to http://pueblo.colostate.edu/pyn/pyn.shtml. If you live in other parts of the state check with your community colleges, universities and cooperative extensions to see what they are offering this year.<br />
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Here in Colorado you can find a list of free events by going to <a href="http://www.freeindenver.com/denver-free-days">www.freeindenver.com/denver-free-days</a>. You will find list for free days at local museums, the zoo and other attractions, movies in the park, free concert series, etc. The majority of these are in the Denver Metro area, but there are some things listed for other parts of the state if you do not feel like a trip to Denver. <br />
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Another great site for the Denver/Boulder areas is <a href="http://www.milehighonthecheap.com">http://www.milehighonthecheap.com</a>.<br />
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If you are living in the Colorado Springs area check out <a href="http://springsbargains.com">http://springsbargains.com</a>.<br />
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Colorado Parents magazine puts out a list every month of free and low cost family-friendly events around the state. You can find their magazine in various locations across the state, including medical office and restaurants. They also have an online publication at <a href="http://coloradoparent.com">coloradoparent.com</a>, including an annual publication dedicated to “Everything Family”.<br />
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These are just a few of the free things you can do to make some family memories this summer. Get out there and remember what you loved about being young and carefree. Kids love to see their parents having fun alongside them.<br />
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For more suggestions on ways to have fun and build memories as a family, additional ways to support your family and for other great parenting tips call the Family Support Line at 1-877-695-7996 OR 1-866-Las-Familias (866-527-3264) for Spanish speakers. You can also e-mail stacy@FamiliesFirstColorado.org with questions or concerns. Check us out on Facebook at Families First Colorado. The Family Support Line offers parenting tips, resources and information only and does not serve as legal or mental health advice. We believe you are the paramount person to decide what is best for your family. Comments provided by non-Families First individuals are not the opinion of Families First. <br />
Families First. A blog for strengthening families.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05701588704746962295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3804462529323104696.post-50176027500832479022014-05-13T12:20:00.000-07:002014-05-13T12:20:41.470-07:00Inspiring Resilience, Creating HopeMay is National Mental Health Awareness month. We have come a long way as a nation over the last couple of decades in how we view mental health issues, however, we still need to continue to improve the way people with a mental illness are viewed and treated.<br />
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Mental health is simply our emotional, mental, and spiritual health. It is just as important as our physical health. In fact, the two go hand-in-hand. It is important for us to realize that people of all ages, race, ethnicity, religion, and incomes are diagnosed with mental health concerns. Nearly every person in America has either had mental health issues at one time in their life or has a close friend or family member who has had mental health issues at some point. The stigma around mental health needs to be broken. Mental health issues should be viewed no differently than physical health issues. <br />
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This year’s theme for Mental Health Awareness month is Inspiring Resilience, Creating Hope. There is a great deal of research that has been done in recent years that is showing that resiliency acts as a buffer in all areas of a person’s life, including mental and emotional health. The good news is that resilience is something we are all born with and can be strengthened.<br />
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Last month’s blog spoke briefly about parental resilience as one of the protective factors that decreases abuse and neglect and promotes health family relationships. We defined it as the ability to cope with stresses, both the day-to-day stresses, as well as the occasional crisis. This is sometimes described as being a “bounce back” person or family. The same definition applies for resilience in children of all ages.<br />
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So, why is being resilient so important? The more resilient a person is the better day-to-day health they have in all areas of their life. Seventy percent of all people will experience at least one trauma in their lifetime. Resiliency helps people deal with the bumps of life, as well as the bigger stressors. It is a good idea to build resiliency before it is needed for a crisis. <br />
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There are a number of fairly simple things that adults can do to help promote resilience in children. The number one thing is relationships. Researchers agree that the primary building block for resilience is caring, supportive relationships. Adults can do this by responding to their children’s physical and emotional needs in a timely manner with patience. Another easy way to build relationships is to have fun together. Schedule time every day to get down on the floor or go outside and play with your child. <br />
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Adults can also help promote resilience in children by listening and responding to their child in a reflective manner. When your child is talking to you give them your full attention and then make sure to state back to them what you heard them say and any emotions you believe they are experiencing. Then allow your child to confirm or clarify that you got what they were saying and feeling. We all need to be heard and have our feelings supported.<br />
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As always, adults can use modeling. It is important for us to model the skills that lead to resilience for our children. We need to make sure our children see us engaging in supportive relationships, having fun, and sharing our thoughts and feelings. These are just a few suggestions for building resilience that you can start working on today for yourself, with your children and in your family, which will lead to improved mental and emotional health.<br />
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<i>For more suggestions on ways resilience, additional ways to support your family and for other great parenting tips call the Family Support Line at 1-877-695-7996 OR 1-866-Las-Familias (866-527-3264) for Spanish speakers. You can also e-mail stacy@FamiliesFirstColorado.org with questions or concerns. Check us out on Facebook at Families First Colorado. The Family Support Line offers parenting tips, resources and information only and does not serve as legal or mental health advice. We believe you are the paramount person to decide what is best for your family. Comments provided by non-Families First individuals are not the opinion of Families First. <br />
</i>Families First. A blog for strengthening families.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05701588704746962295noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3804462529323104696.post-41211715020565088292014-04-24T10:10:00.000-07:002014-04-24T10:10:03.095-07:00"Kids—You Can't Beat 'em."“Kids-You can’t beat ‘em”, was one of the first logos in 1983, when President Reagan proclaimed April to be the first National Child Abuse Prevention Month. I love the dual meaning of this statement. We can’t be physically aggressive with kids. But equally as important, is the message that there is special value in children. Thirty years later, we continue to promote the value of our children and their families, as well as the fact that every member of the community has a responsibility to help prevent child abuse and neglect.<br />
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If you would like information on how to get involved in promoting the value of children and families, give us a call on the Family Support Line, at 877-695-7996 or via email at stacy@FamiliesFirstColorado.org. <br />
Preventing child abuse and neglect can sound like an overwhelming task, but it really comes down to some basic things that we all can do to help strengthen families. Research shows that there are five protective factors that help strengthen families. These factors act like buffers to stress and increase the health and well-being of children and families. <br />
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The Protective Factors are:<br />
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Concrete Supports for Parents<br />
Social Connections and Emotional Competence<br />
Parental Resilience<br />
Knowledge of Parenting and of Child/Youth Development<br />
Nurturing and Attachment<br />
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Denver Human Services did a great campaign this year for April’s Child Abuse Prevention Month that makes it easy to remember the protective factors. It is entitled 5 Ways to Keep Families Stable, Help Kids Thrive and Uphold a Strong Community:<br />
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1.) Call for Help!<br />
2.) Surround Yourselves with Friends and Family<br />
3.) Be a Bounce Back Family<br />
4.) Become a Parenting Ace<br />
5.) Help Children Express Themselves<br />
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Concrete Supports for Parents, also known as supports for basic needs, is the first protective factor that needs to be addressed. Families need to have their basic needs meet before they can focus on the other factors that will strengthen them. Find these concrete supports for your own family and help other families locate them as well. You can locate these supports within your community in a variety of ways, including local non-profits (such as the Family Support Line at Families First), faith based communities and social service agencies. These groups and agencies will partner with parents to help identify and access resources in the community such as food, clothing, housing, quality childcare, health and dental care, social-emotional services, and variety of other resources.<br />
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Another factor is Social Connections and Emotional Competence. This boils down to surrounding yourself and your children with friends and family. It is very important for both adults and children to have Social Connections. When adults have social connections they are modeling for the children around them how to interact with others and their world. The same is true for emotional competence, when we as grown-ups work on our own emotional health; we are modeling emotional wellness for our children. If you do not have supportive friends and family, consider neighbors, spiritual groups, the local child/parent play group, or your child’s school. There are a variety of places to find connections for yourself and your child. If you or another adult you know does not have a support system, consider joining a Parent Support Group. Families First offers Circle of Parents ® Support groups and can also connect you with other support groups across the state.<br />
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Parental Resilience is the ability to cope with stresses, both the day-to-day stresses, as well as the occasional crisis. This is sometimes described as being a “bounce back” person or family. Are you able to bounce back when things get tough? The other two Protective Factors we had mentioned, Concrete Support and Social Connections, can both help to increase a person’s resilience. Having someone that can help you talk through a stress increases the chance a person will bounce back from the stress. <br />
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The protective factor, Knowledge of Parenting & Child Development is becoming informed as a parent about ways to communicate with your child, set rules and expectations, and provide safe opportunities that promote independence. These things need to be done while taking the child’s current development into consideration. Healthy child development and effective parenting are connected. If you would like to learn more about effective parenting or child development consider attending a parenting class or support group.<br />
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The final protective factor is Nurturing and Attachment, last, but not least by any means! In fact, most times this is the first factor listed due to the importance of nurturing and attachment. A child’s early experience of being loved and cared for by a safe, reliable adult has an effect on all aspects of their life. It will determine how they treat others and how they allow others to treat them as they grow into adulthood. Nurturing and attachment are crucial not just when a child is young, but throughout their lives. This can set the stage for the other factors to develop.<br />
These five factors are not only good for the parent-child relationship, but they help to decrease stress on an individual level, as well as a community level. If individuals are less stressed, then their relationships will be less stressed, which will produce a less stressed community as a whole. Pick one factor and work on fine-tuning it to increase your protection against stress. Don’t know where to find the resources, social supports, parenting classes? Need someone to listen when you are stressed or a place to Brainstorm ideas? Call Families First at 877-695-7996 or email us at stacy@FamiliesFirstColorado.org. We would love to help you tackle a protective factor!<br />
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<i>We also have a Spanish Family Support Line at 866-527-3264 or maria@FamiliesFirstColroado.org. Check us out on Facebook at Families First Colorado. The Family Support Line offers parenting tips, resources and information only and does not serve as legal or mental health advice. We believe you are the paramount person to decide what is best for your family. Comments provided by non-Families First individuals are not the opinion of Families First. <br />
</i>Families First. A blog for strengthening families.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05701588704746962295noreply@blogger.com0